304: Who Do You Want to Be in 2022?

You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast. I am Dr. Jen Riday and welcome to a new year. Stay tuned.

Hi, I'm Jen Riday. This podcast is for women who want to feel more vibrant, happy, aligned, and alive. You'll gain the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools you need to get your sparkle back and ensure that depression, anxiety, and struggle don't rule your life. Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women Podcast.

Hey, there my friends, it’s a new year. I love turning over a new leaf, let me tell you. So my husband is obsessed with New Year’s Eve celebrations. I grew up watching the ball drop early in some far away time zone and then going to bed. That’s what farmers are like. My husband grew up watching the ball drop in his time zone. He spent a lot of his life in Switzerland. I think they did something with blowing up snowmen with fireworks. I guess if you grew up with that New Year’s Eve would be really important.

Maybe I have my traditions mixed up but that does sound pretty cool, fireworks, blowing things up, yes. Well, for our New Year’s Eve they get out a lot of noise makers, not my favorite thing. That sound is like chalkboard scratches. But I participate because it’s so fun for my spouse. What I really love though is New Year’s Day the day to say, “Oh my gosh, it’s a new year, what are my goals going to be for this year?” Now, I gave up setting ‘resolutions’ long ago because 92% of people give up on their resolutions by mid-January.

If you were listening to my last episode, episode 303, I shared seven mistakes people make when setting their new year’s goals or resolutions. And if you address those you can start to create goals that stick because you identify what you want and why you want it. Tie your goals to your needs, you create a vision of having that result, you build community around you who thinks in a similar way. You identify your thoughts and change them and finally, identify, create a new identity of a person who already has those results. Pretty cool.

Well, in this episode I want to talk a little more about the new year. Looking back, 2020 I feel was about emotional resilience. We got through that, and we adapted. Then came 2021, this felt like the year of endurance, enduring just all of it with lots of Netflix and social media, maybe a little bit too much food. Well, here we are, we’ve come all the way around, we’re living with coronavirus to some extent and we’re ready for 2022. What is going to be the theme of this year for you?

Now, with this I like to talk about be, do, have, in that order. A lot of us for our new year’s resolutions try to talk about what we need to do, what we need to do to get this goal. We need to be gritty, and we need to just will ourselves to make this happen. Well, we all know what happens with willpower, it fades by the end of the day. It fades when we feel stressed and overwhelmed. So instead it’s better, in fact it’s the only way in my opinion. If we want to do or have something, if we want to achieve or accomplish something, we must be the person who can do that.

So that is the big question to contemplate today, who do you need to be to do the things that will let you have what you want? Who do you need to be to follow through on the habits that will bring you to having what you want? Be, then do, then have. This is the deep work I want to challenge you to do throughout the year ahead, to be someone different in every thought, in every feeling. And when you do that your actions will change. You will do things differently. You will behave differently. And when we behave differently we get a new result, we get a new outcome, we have a new achievement to celebrate and that feels amazing.

Looking ahead, what do you want to have or to experience by the end of 2022? And who do you need to be to make that a reality? Now, that might sound simplistic and easy, but I promise you this is the way. Now, like you, I too am a human.

And there have been moments for me over the past few years when I have lost or felt like I’ve lost my motivation. Sometimes I felt like I couldn’t accomplish anything, that all I could do was to scroll through social endlessly. It was as if my feelings were preventing me from taking the actions I wanted to take. And if you’ve listened to this podcast for any length of time you know that our feelings lead us to our behavior. So if we feel amazing, excited, motivated, enthusiastic, we will take action and we will get those results.

If we feel discouraged, unsure, uncertain, depressed, anxious, we often get into a state of inaction, doing nothing and then thereby not getting the result we’re looking for. So the key is changing those feelings. And how do we do that? We must figure out our baseline thought which we do with a tool I call the Thought Table. And we then can up-level that thought to something that generates a better feeling. It’s so simple yet it’s not that simple. Sometimes you need an external person, an observer who is separate from you to catch you in the stories that you tell, stories that keep you stuck.

Have you ever felt stuck like you can’t move forward? If that is you, you might need a little bit of help to identify, to uncover, to replace those stories. And we do this work all the time across many, many topics in the Vibrant Happy Women Club. For example, throughout January we are talking about managing our time. If you feel like time has gotten away from you in the past couple of years, a good place to start is to understand your thoughts about time.

For example, I grew up with a belief that there’s never enough time, that I have too much to do for the amount of time that I have. I had beliefs that I needed to do things as fast as I could because the to do list was never ending. All of these thoughts tended to generate a great deal of anxiety or even despondence for me, which when you feel anxious or despondent what do you do? You don’t take a lot of action, you get stuck.

These are the kinds of thoughts that lead us to procrastinate and not move forward, the kind of thoughts that lead us to feel stuck, not getting the results we want. So what do we do? Well, we do the work. We fill out our Thought Tables, we use the Feel It to Heal It method. We build healthy habits through the B.E. H.E.R. morning ritual and B.O.L.D. meditation. And we create healthy boundaries. Five fundamental tools we use in the club over and over again to help us up-level our thinking and to eliminate those limiting beliefs.

So now my up-leveled thoughts about time are, I have all the time I need for what really matters. I love how that thought makes me feel. Or an interesting one is there’s never enough time for the things we don’t really need to do. Interesting, right? There’s never enough time to be on social media because I don’t really need to be there anyway.

So there are thoughts that I like to think that generate feelings of empowerment, excitement, enthusiasm. Then I will take the action to fill out my week at a glance and my year at a glance, to get my email inbox to inbox zero. And that all feels so amazing. By the way, you too can create a week at a glance, and a year at a glance, and achieve inbox zero through the tools I share in the club.

Set the intention now to do what it takes to learn how to think, to rewire your brain, to eliminate and decrease all of those limiting beliefs about your time, about your worthiness, about your clutter, about your body, your marriage, your parenting, your finances. All of those limiting beliefs, let them go, clean them out, declutter your mind and create a new frontier there, a mind filled with empowering thoughts that help you feel good. And when you feel good you will take action and get new results. That’s the key.

You really can be an entirely new person by the end of 2022 if you’re willing to do that work. And that is what the Vibrant Happy Women Club, the Vibrant Happy Women movement is all about, giving you a container, a structure to show up and commit to that work of cleaning out your limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering ones. To process any emotions that might be keeping you stuck and to move them through so you can start to generate new results in the areas of your life.

I know this works, I have used it to create an entirely new marriage relationship with my husband which blows my mind every day. I have used this thought work to manage all the experiences with my kids who are challenging. Thought work is where it’s at to generate a new result. And I like to say that 2022 is the beginning of the second half of my life. We had all of that experience now we get to have the after.

What is your after the pandemic going to be? Are you going to stay stuck or are you going to get unstuck? If you would like to join us in this container of doing the work of changing your thoughts so you can get new results and achieve your vision of what you want for your life. Join us in the Vibrant Happy Women Club where you’ll be supported through soul circles, classes with me, a workbook that will help you with your journaling and so much more.

Plus when you join the annual membership you will get access to Time Mastery for Women, Heal Your Heart and Heal Your Relationships, three programs I created to help you in depth in each of those areas. And finally, annual members also get access to a buy one get one free offer for the brand new Vibrant Happy Women live event that starts in 2023, you won’t want to miss it. This means annual members of the club get to bring along a friend for free to the Vibrant Happy Women live event happening in Florida in February 2023.

This is your life, give yourself the time, and the space, and the support to make it what you want it to be. Join us for the year in the Vibrant Happy Women Club by going to jenriday.com/club. The doors close on January 6^th, and if you miss that deadline go there anyway, you can get there on the wait list and we’ll notify you when the doors open again. I am so excited for everything that’s happening there in the Soul Circles, in the Facebook group. And in 2023 at the Vibrant Happy Women live event.

My friend, this is your life, you’re doing such a good job, now let’s take it to the next level, a level we can feel proud of, a level where we feel juicier and happier because we do the work to change our thinking. You’ve got this, go get it. I will see you again next time, until then make it a vibrant and happy week and life. Take care.

If you enjoy this podcast, you have to check out the Vibrant Happy Women Club. It’s my monthly group coaching program where we take all this material to the next level and to get you the results that will blow your mind. Join me in the Vibrant Happy Women Club at jenriday.com/join.