206: Intuition and Authenticity

You’re listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, episode #206. We’re talking all about intuition and authenticity. Stay tuned.

Hi, I'm Jen Riday and this podcast is for women who want to feel more vibrant, happy, aligned, and alive. You’ll gain the emotional, physical, and spiritual tools you need to get your sparkle back and ensure that depression, anxiety, and struggle don’t rule your life. Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast.

Hey, my friends. I'm so excited to talk to you today about intuition and authenticity. The two are actually related. I'm going to explain why in just a moment. Now, when I use the word intuition, I choose that word very carefully because I think it can encompass all the different words people are using to describe what I believe is the same phenomenon. That is listening to an inner wisdom or a higher wisdom from deep within yourself or perhaps even with outside of yourself.

So, some of you might use the words “the universe”, or “source”, or “God”, or “collective consciousness”. Maybe for you it's just gut instinct, or spirit, or a nudge to do something. Whatever words you use, I want us all to acknowledge we're really talking about the same thing. I want you to apply it in the way that works for you, and I will continue to use the word intuition.

Everyone experiences intuition differently. Sometimes people have this inner voice, almost like a thought, that tells them to do something. This has happened to me three very clear times in my life. I’m going to describe those in just a moment. But I want to acknowledge sometimes it can just be a collection of feelings.

I feel like when we're in alignment with intuition, we feel positive, energized, forgiving, happy, satisfied, clear-minded, assuming the best of others, expansive, balanced, in control, peaceful, accepting, grateful, loving, optimistic, and empowered. I love all those words. You could almost feel your energy shift as you think those words.

Now, as a person who believes in a higher power, and I do use the word intuition to keep it all encompassing so we can all apply this, no matter whether that is for you God, or collective consciousness, or the universe, or whatever. I believe that our feelings are there as an inner GPS to guide us like a compass.

Oprah says the same thing. We have this inner GPS. These feelings will let us know if we're in alignment with a course that will get us to a destination or a result that is good for us, desirable for us. For example, some of you might have had a feeling that, “Oh, I shouldn't go there. That feels icky, that feels wrong,” and you make a choice to change your course. Maybe that feeling was there to guide you not to do something.

At the same time, maybe you felt kind of a drive or a longing to actually make a decision to do something. Again, that's kind of that inner GPS guiding you. Now, my examples of this. I have three where it was very, very solid. Now, these are extreme examples. Some people say to me, “Jen, gosh, I've never had it happen that clearly for me.”

Well, for each of these situations, I find it fascinating that for each situation, I was consciously meditating on a question for a long time prior to getting this very intuitive answer. I put myself in a situation where it was quiet and alone repeatedly, and then randomly at perhaps the right time, I received an answer for each thing.

So, the first one was after my husband and I finished grad school. My husband was doing a post doc, and I was watching our two youngest children who were two and one at the time. My husband was about to take a job. He had three different job offers. When you've just finished grad school and you have job offers, you usually jump on those, right?

Well, we heard about a job offer in Madison, Wisconsin, and I decided to pray about that, think about that, meditate on that, and we were both doing this. So, one day, I was out on a walk alone. I had no kids with me. I was really quiet. I'd been thinking about it for a long time, and for some reason, I had a thought come to my mind very strongly that we should turn down those other jobs and we should wait for the job in Madison, Wisconsin.

It was just a clear, calm, peaceful thought. The feelings that came with it were positive, loving, empowered. All of those feelings I described that match up with aligned thoughts that are received through intuition.

So, I went and told my husband. The fascinating thing is he had the same feeling. So, we were able to make a decision to turn down all of these other jobs and continue in that post doc position for a few months. He went, and actually, we were surprised, but not that surprised, to see that he got an interview.

Then at the end of the year, just before we needed to have a new job, he was offered the job in Madison, Wisconsin. We've been there ever since. So, a beautiful and important moment for us to have that intuitive experience because it determined the course of our lives. For the most part, we have really loved Madison minus the cold.

Okay. Now, that's an extreme example, but I want you to know you can receive the same type of intuitive thoughts. The requirements are, I believe, to practice the art of prayer, or meditation, or getting clear and quiet so you can hear these thoughts and these feelings. Then to consistently make a quiet space to receive these thoughts. That's what I did that day, and then it happened.

Now, before I tell my next story, I want you to know that these are sacred stories to me. My three most sacred experiences, perhaps, and I'm going to share them with you because I love you guys, and I trust you to keep my story sacred. So, thank you.

So, as you might know, I've experienced six miscarriages. I suffered a miscarriage before every single actual viable pregnancy and birth. After a particular miscarriage, we had four children at the time, three boys and a girl. I thought, “Oh, I'm kind of done having miscarriages. I wonder what the next best step is for me.” I was kind of thinking and praying about that, and I had been for a month.

Should we try again? Should we be done? I was starting to recognize that maybe some of our kids had special needs by that time. Our oldest was, I believe, seven, and I realized they had high energy. My oldest probably had ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. I was starting to see, “Wow, this is going to be harder than I thought.” I thought, “Oh, four is a great number to end on.”

So, one day, I was thinking and praying. I was alone. My kids were occupied, and I was folding laundry. Suddenly, the room just filled up with this very spiritual, loving, connected, juicy feeling. The whole room, it felt thick with it, almost like you could cut it with a knife. Then I just had a pouring of thoughts come into my mind, thoughts that weren't my own.

The thoughts were that we needed to move to Verona, which we have, which is outside of Madison, and that I would have two more girls. That experience didn't last long, but it was powerful, and clear, and it gave me the confidence to go ahead and have our two more daughters, which we had, Jane and Cora.

That has been a sacred experience. That was, I believe, very important for me because as we've progressed and I've realized the extent of some of my children's mental health issues, I have questioned many times why did we have six kids? Well, that is why, and I love them all. I'm so glad they're with us. I think it's special for Jane and Cora to know that they were really meant to be here.

Okay. My final story of a very intuitive experience for me is after my youngest daughter, Cora, was about 12 months old. I knew she was the last because I'd had this previous spiritual experience. I was praying, thinking, meditating on this question for over a year.

What is next for me? What do I do next? What should I do with my life now? I've had all these kids. What should I do? I spent a year thinking about that, having no idea of the answer I would get. But I was consistently asking it every day.

On one particular day, I went to a yoga class with my best friend Kitt and another friend, Ann. It was fun and social, and at the end of that class for no reason at all, I was in a Shavasana pose where you relax, and the thought came to me very clearly. You need to become a life coach. That was it. That was the thought.

So, I went home, and I Googled “what's a life coach?” I started to learn, and I acted quickly. I got my certification, and the rest is history. I have a podcast. I love all of you. I'm so happy I'm connected with all of you. I can't describe it enough.

I was just at the Vibrant Happy Women retreat, and I am madly in love with the women who were there. You know who you are. I love you, love you, love you. Everyone else who hasn't been there, join us because I want to give you a giant, big hug. I love all of you who listen to the podcast. There's something special about you, and I think we're all together for a reason.

Okay. So, all of those inspired intuitive moments ended very well or were important for my life. So, I knew that I was on the right path. Those are big, big examples. Those things don't happen often. Currently, I have been looking for one of those very, very intuitive, inspired answers, and I am not getting it for whatever reason. That happens, and it can be frustrating. You don't know which way to go, and what decision to make, and why you're struggling with something, and you want those answers, and all you can do is move forward.

So, how do we apply the thought of listening to your intuition if you're struggling with something, or you're facing indecision and you're not getting those big answers? I think the most important thing is that you can have a solid, self-care routine created through having boundaries where you tell people, “This is when I'm going to take care of myself.”

We have to create solid, self-care routines where we get quiet, where we meditate, or think, or ponder, or pray. Creating that space shows a dedication to being able to receive an answer when it comes in its own right time. Eventually, they do come if we're committed enough to listen and we're committed enough to act on the answer or the thought once it comes. So my question for you is are you creating consistent daily space to listen to your intuition?

Now, one of my favorite ways to teach people to do this is through what's called a BOLD meditation, B-O-L-D. Bold stands for Breathe, Observe, Let go, and Dialogue. So, by breathing first, deepening your breath deep into your diaphragm, slowing your breath, you get your body to relax, to metabolize cortisol, and to feel safe. That's an important part of receiving intuitive thoughts, is to feel safe. So, to breathe several times and relax your body, and then observe what's happening.

What are you feeling? What are you thinking? What sensations do you notice in your muscles and in your body? Breathe, observe, and then let go. Let go of the thoughts that aren't serving you. Maybe thoughts of fear, or shame, or not good enough. Thoughts of negativity, or criticism, or frustration, or resentment. Let them go because those kinds of thoughts block intuitive thoughts, in my opinion.

Let go of stress in your body. Let go of thoughts that aren't going to yield a good result. You get to a neutral thought and feeling space, and then we're ready for D, Dialogue. So, we have breathe, observe, let go, and dialogue, BOLD, B-O-L-D. Breathe, Observe, Let go, Dialogue.

Now, in the dialogue place, if you believe in a higher power, maybe it's a prayer. If you believe in energy or the universe, maybe it's meditation. It's all the same thing, in my opinion, but it's important we're not just speaking words, but that we're quiet and listening.

This is a great place to ask a question. Perhaps you ask what is my next best step? Now, in all of those three stories I shared, I was actually asking that exact question. What is my next best step? Should we take these jobs, or should we wait and look for this other job in Madison? What is the next best step with the kids? What is the next best step? Should we have more kids? Should we be done?

Then with that yoga experience. What is my next best step? I'm done having kids. What's next for me? What would happen in your life if you ask this question every day? What is my next best step? You open yourself to receptive, open place to receive guidance, wisdom from deep within yourself or from without of yourself, from outside of yourself, whichever you believe.

These thoughts can give us confidence and power, but the important thing through BOLD meditation, Breathe, Observe, Let go, and Dialogue, is we have to shift our thoughts and feelings to get back into a place of alignment, connection to whatever is out there energetically.

Remember, when we're in alignment, we feel positive, energized, forgiving, happy, satisfied, glad for other successes, assuming the best in others, confident, grateful, empowered, optimistic. What we do not feel is critical, unforgiving, dissatisfied, selfish, jealous, closed, contracted, frustrated, resentful.

So, a beautiful thing about meditation and making that quiet space is we can shed and let go of negative feelings that block us. If you felt blocked for a while now, I want to encourage you to do a BOLD meditation. Breathe, observe thoughts, and feelings, and sensations, then let go of those out of alignment thoughts of negativity, and fear, and doubt, and distraction, and dissatisfaction.

The easiest way to shift is to focus on what you're grateful for. List your gratitude’s in a gratitude journal, or sit there and think, “I am so grateful.” Other great ways to shift out of alignment feelings into in alignment is dancing, movement, exercise, whatever it takes, shift those feelings. Go back to that BOLD meditation and do that step of D, dialogue. What is my next best step? Find out. Journal what you receive. These intuitive thoughts are beautiful.

Now, a little bit about authenticity. I believe our authentic self is most easily tapped into from this place of meditation where you have breathed and observed thoughts, feelings, and sensations, let go of the thoughts and feelings that don't serve you, and then you're in this pure, open, authentic space. That's who you really are in that space.

You can come to know her, and love her, and admire her. What does she like? What does she dislike? What fills her cup? What doesn't? Every time you're in that space and you ask the question, “What is my next best step?” You come to know the real you separate from the shoulds from society and the people. You start to love her because, “Oh, she's beautiful. She's connected to collective consciousness, to God, to the universe, to source, to intuition.” You start to realize there's this oneness, and there's love, and there's this high vibe feeling. You can go back there again, and again, and again and receive wisdom and guidance.

So, I find it interesting that in our busy, busy lives with social media, and Facebook, and people, and jobs, and needing money, and having cars, and buying stuff, all of that becomes a distraction from really tapping into that intuitive wisdom and knowing our authentic selves.

We've talked about the importance of interacting in life from that highest vibe place, and the best way to do that is to get quiet. Every single day commit to tapping into that authentic place where you know yourself, and you're connected to something higher and greater than yourself. That is where that true joy, and love, and peace, and happiness comes from. It's beautiful and amazing.

Now, one last thought. Many of you want to do something in your life. You want to start a business, or you want to write a book, or you want to run a marathon, or you don't know what to do. You might feel afraid. You might feel worry, confusion.

I want to let you know that fear, worry, and confusion or doubt are out of alignment feelings. Those feelings are caused by thought problems. Thoughts like, “What if I fail? I'm not good enough. I don't know what to do.” Thoughts like those are not from your intuition. So, if you feel afraid, or doubtful, or worried, or confused, just know those do not come from your intuition, from God, from the universe.

The greatest growth lies on the other side of fear. When I know something is right, I actually feel fear mixed with excitement. Sometimes the things that scare me the most are the best thing for me most often. So, I feel really afraid of something. It's almost like my body gearing up energetically to go do that thing. That's where I step into the fire, and I go, “Okay, I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going to take that step.” So, those are my thoughts on intuition and authenticity.

My challenge for you is to take a moment now. Maybe you're in your car. As soon as you turn the car into a parking lot or a stall, turn it off and take five minutes to breathe, observe, let go, and have that dialogue. What is my next best step? Do this every day, and you will move forward at an accelerated rate toward greater love, and joy, and peace.

Whenever you're feeling stuck, do the same thing. What am I thinking? “Oh, I'm thinking I can't do this. I'm thinking I hate my family. I'm thinking my life is hard. I'm thinking I'm tired.” Those thoughts are out of alignment. They are not intuitive. They are not guided from something higher than yourself. Those are the thoughts that keep you stuck, and we have to let those go. We return to the place of, “I can do anything I need to do. I am an amazing person. What is next? What is my next best step?” Get your thoughts back in alignment and see what happens.

So, those are my thoughts for you. We are discussing this in the Vibrant Happy Woman Club this week. I love this topic, and I'm actually teaching a class on listening to your intuition. I love talking about this. It is so much fun. If you want to be a part of it, join us in the club at jenriday.com/join.

Well, thank you so much for listening. I will be back again next week. Until then, make it a vibrant and happy week by doing daily, consistent, BOLD meditation. Breathe, observe, let go, and dialogue. Ask that question. What's my next best step? Thanks for listening and take care.

If you enjoy this podcast, you have to check out the Vibrant Happy Women Club. It’s my monthly group coaching program where we take all this material to the next level and to get you the results that will blow your mind. Join me in the Vibrant Happy Women Club at jenriday.com/join.