66: Friendship Matters: Life Lessons from a 40-year Friendship (with Dr. Sandra Bernstein and Dr. Wendy Rapaport)

In a society dominated by social media, many women long for deeper friendships. In this episode, best friends and clinical psychologists Dr. Sanda Bernstein and Dr. Wendy Rapaport share some stories from their 40-year friendship and their book, Friendship Matters: Memoir, Life Lessons, Laughter. If you want to build and strengthen your friendships, you’ll love this episode of Vibrant Happy Women.

Sanda Bernstein, is a clinical psychologist. She has worked in both school districts and universities. Dr. Bernstein is trained in psychotherapy, psychoanalysis, and as a school psychologist. She has a private practice in which she sees adolescents and adults. Married with 2 grown children and 5 grandsons. She lives in Manhattan. Wendy Rapaport, is a clinical psychologist. She specializes in psychology-related facets of the health-care field, working with providers and patients. She is an adjunct professor at the Diabetes Research Institute, part of the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine and at the University of Maine Graduate School of Social Work. She has a private practice working with people coping with diabetes. She’s married and a stepmother to 2 grown children and have a granddaughter and a great grandson. She lives in Maine for part of the year and Florida for the rest of the year. They met at a lecture when they were college-aged and Sonda was pregnant and had to go to the bathroom and they chatted the whole time and never stopped talking. They just released a book together called Friendship Matters: Memoir, Life Lessons, Laughter.

Nuggets of Wisdom from Sandy and Wendy:

“Do unto others as they would prefer you do unto them.”

“We have to really know our friends, what would please them, because sometimes we find ourselves doing things that would please us, not them.”

“If I'm not for myself, who will be for me? If I'm only for myself, what am I? If not now, when?”

“Do not procrastinate.”

“I think women need to teach their men how listen to them better. I think that we need to talk better.”

Some of Sandy and Wendy‘s Favorite Things:

Personal habit: Wendy: “I like exercise.” Sandy: “Not thinking that I know all the answers for myself but reaching out.”

Easy meal: Sandy: Taking in from the local gourmet market where they have fresh salmon everyday and fresh turkey and fresh spinach pie.
Wendy: candy, cake and ice cream; take-out delivery.

Favorite kitchen gadget: Wendy: Telephone. Sandy: microwave

Favorite Books: Wendy: Little Women. The Prince of Time; Sandy: Americanah Novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Best advice received: Sandy: “Don't let fear stop you.” Wendy: “Honoring my independence.”

Sandy and Wendy's Happiness Formula:

Sandy: First is the importance of staying connected with the people I love. Then I want to stay engaged in activities that are meaningful to me. And the other is slowing down to stay appreciative of the world around me. Just appreciative of life.

Wendy: On a couch with a good enough poet – poetry

A Challenge from Sandy and Wendy:

Sandy: “Read a book. Get a friend and deepen that friendship. Be more connected with your friend. I want to challenge everyone to connect better to a friend.”

Wendy: “Do it consciously, because good manners come from practice and habit. I challenge you to make a good friend even better.”

Resources

Friendship Matters: Memoir, Life Lessons

Americanah Novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Little Women

The Prince of Time

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