58: Replacing Perfectionism and “Not Good Enough” with Authentic Self Love (with Emma Bell)

After a fantastic career as a high-level lawyer, a marriage that looked great from the outside and all the normal definitions of success, Emma Bell realized she wasn’t happy and that she didn’t even really know herself. In this touching episode Emma shares how she learned to be compassionate with herself and live authentically, which set off a chain of events that included becoming an authenticity and mindfulness coach, finding the love of her life (who complements rather than “completes” her) and having the thrill of helping hundreds of other women make the same journey to self love.

Emma Bell lives in a beautiful Scottish village with her husband, Graeme, and her jack russell, Buddy. After seventeen years as a corporate lawyer, the high pressure/long hours culture forced her to realize she was a square peg squeezing into a round hole. She worked as a judge for seven years, during which time she published her book, The True You, and began coaching. She now pursues her passions of writing, teaching authenticity, and motorbiking with her husband around the world.

Nuggets of Wisdom from Emma:

“David Foster Wallace said, ‘You will become way less concerned about what others think of you when you realize how seldom they do.' I just love that quote because it is a reminder to me not to waste a second worrying about what others think of me. You have to live your life with yourself first. I think being true to your values and your principles is what matters most, and it is something I spent 30 years learning.”

“For me, it was the point which I realized I had absolutely no idea who I was, that was important to me. I realized I had been living according to everyone else's idea of success. So, that was really when I realized that I needed to get to know myself.”

“I had always been so hard on myself. I was not working hard enough, or I was not trying hard enough or I was a failure or…. I started to change those messages… then self-care becomes a lot easier.”

“Be clear about what success means to you. My definition of success is having the peace of mind of knowing that I have been the best of which I am capable in every single moment. I have given my full self, I have given my heart, I have given my love in every single moment. That is what success means for me.”

“Every single day, just take one step toward your idea of success. Just do one thing that moves you toward your idea of success. And those are, for me, the daily rituals.”

Some of Emma‘s Favorite Things:

Personal habit: “Mindfulness and getting up every morning and meditating.”

Easy meal: “Salmon with mango and avocado salsa. Chop up a mango. Chop up an avocado. Put in some red onion. Get the juice of two limes. Cush it all together and serve it along side baked salmon.”

Possession: “My husband. He is an awesome cook.”

Emma's Favorite Books: “Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer”

Best advice received: “Emma, you can do everything you want- just not all at the same time. ”

Emma's Happiness Formula:

1. Being mindful
2. Being authentic
3. Being self-caring
4. Being giving.
5. Being grateful.

A Challenge from Emma:

I would challenge your listeners to spend 10 minutes being mindful.

Resources

Self Love Checklist

emmajbell.com

Wishes Fulfilled by Wayne Dyer

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