94 Transcript: Manifesting an Abundant & Amazing Life in 2018 (with Jaya Rose)
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Jen: You're listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, episode number 94.
Intro: Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, stories of vibrant women living happy lives. And now, your host, Jen Riday.
Jen: Hey there, welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women. I'm Dr. Jen Riday, host of the Vibrant Happy Women podcast and this movement of becoming your most vibrant and happy self. Why do you want to do that? Well, your kids are watching, your spouse is watching, people are watching, and when you live as your happiest self, shining with your most radiant joy, you give others permission to do the same. And if you have daughters especially, you're giving them an example of not being martyrs, not being grumpy and exhausted, but showing them what it looks like to live a vibrant happy, fulfilling, meaningful life. And that is why we're here. I'm so glad you're with us. I can't wait for what's going to happen in 2018; so many great guests coming on the show, so many great topics. And I don't know about you, but 2017 was a pretty amazing year for me personally. Now, there were struggles, for sure, heart-wrenching struggles which happened with teenagers and kids and life and being busy. But as I kept shifting upward, having those Mountain moments where I got out of the trees so I could see the forest, got in touch with my intuition, with God, a higher power, and kept holding, clinging to that vision of my best self, I up leveled in so many ways, but especially in the area of happiness and just being more joyful about my life, even when it was hard; and I hope that's your goal as well. And I'm excited to have you with me today because we'll be talking with Jaya Rose, the queen of manifesting abundance and awesomeness in your life in 2018. Manifesting is a really cool thing; it's focusing on what you want rather than you don't want. Like attracts like; that which we focus on really does increase. And that's my wish for you in 2018 that you will hold to the vision of whom we want to be, how you want to show up in this world, the legacy you want to leave for your kids and your spouse and those around you. Hold and cling to that vision and up level your life. And I hope Vibrant Happy Women, this podcast, would be a part of that journey for you. So glad you're here. Well, let's jump into this interview with Jaya Rose.
I met Jaya when I was in Santa Fe this past fall and I was immediately attracted to her energy. She radiates joy and light and positivity. And when I first met her, I kind of tripped over the sidewalk. I was walking at a little outdoor restaurant and she was there as well; we had been at an event together and it was the lunch break. And I tripped and I said, “Jaya, I have to work with you, I have to know you.” (Laughs). And she was like, “Well, that's a fun introduction!” Anyway, I'm so excited she's a guest. And grab a notebook and take some notes so you can identify exactly how you want to show up in 2018; what it will look like for you to manifest your most abundant and amazing life in 2018. Even if it gets hard, you're going to create this vision and cling to this vision and keep it in your mind, focusing on what you want, ignoring or focusing less on the things you don't want, and you'll be amazed at how you're going to feel at the end of 2018. So let's go ahead and dive into this phenomenal interview.
Hey, guys, I am talking with Jaya Rose today and I'm so excited that she's on the show today as we begin 2018. So Jaya Rose is a thought leader and she helps women awaken to their power of being a 100% authentically themselves and manifesting an abundant and amazing life. So she is the perfect guest for today as we begin 2018. Jaya, welcome, I'm so glad you're here.
Jaya: Thank you so much, I'm so excited. Thanks for the amazing introduction.
Jen: You know, you guys need to know, Jaya is a ball of freaky, amazing energy.
Jaya: (Laughs)
Jen: And I hope you pick up on that during the show because we are so, so lucky to get to hear from her today; I just have to give her more intro. But, Jaya, let's start with your favorite quote.
Jaya: Okay, here we go, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the barriers within yourself that you have built against it,” Rumi.
Jen: Rumi, okay. Alright Jaya, take us to your low point in life and how you… you know, how you went through that and became the most amazing person that you are today.
Jaya: Mmm, okay. Well, it was yesterday.
[Laughter]
Jaya: No, I’m not even kidding; I’m not kidding. Yesterday was like it was an intense day. But here's the thing, I do think I could speak to some low points and I will. But the beautiful thing about having an abundant and amazing life is that, there are low points every single day. And I really feel like, for me, it isn't that I had a low point and then all of a sudden everything was high afterwards…
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: It's, I had a low point and figured out how to reframe and really take responsibility for the low points and use them as opportunities.
Jen: Mm-hmm. So tell us the secret; yeah, give it to us.
[Laughter]
Jaya: I've had multiple low points. I'm kind of like a cat; I feel like I've had 9 lives because I started very young. With getting married and pregnant at age 19, I've had so much opportunity to grow and have a lot of low points.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: So I would say, you know, the first split up I had with my daughter's dad was a super, super low point. And I did a lot of like self, “Who am I? Who the heck am I? I'm 24 and I have a 4 year old and I already have a divorce under my belt.” And I really dove into just doing what I loved. And I feel like this was such a valuable time in my life because I get to reflect back on that. I was young enough that I didn't have all of the ‘shoulds’ already.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: I was like, “What do I want?” and I really, freely allowed myself to ask that. So I was a… became a belly dancer and I trained capoeira; which if you guys don't know is a Brazilian martial art, it's like the dance fighting.
Jen: Wow! Impressive!
Jaya: You've probably seen it.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: It's been on movies and stuff; it's pretty fun. You do cartwheels and you stand on your head and stuff.
Jen: Neat!
Jaya: So… yeah, so I combated that low point with being like, “This is an opportunity to just figure out what I want.” Because the low point was loneliness and, you know, when you get married so young, you know, married and pregnant…
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: It's like, it's so easy to lose yourself in all of that, even if you're already a grounded adult. But to be so young, I think I just totally lost myself; so finding myself was the answer.
Jen: Ooh. And that's kind of a theme with a lot of our listeners; finding themselves. Because many of us are moms….
Jaya: Mmm.
Jen: … and we've given everything to our kids. So what was the formula for you?
Jaya: Hmm, mm-hmm. You know, because I was young, like I said, I just didn't have all of those ‘should’s, “You should be this kind of mom. You should be this kind of adult.” And that wasn't even a part of the equation. So I feel like that's the initial part of the formula is, again, it's like that Rumi quote; it's not really about finding what you love, it's about finding the places inside of you that are resistant to having what you love, and to be what you love.
Jen: Ooh yeah.
Jaya: Right.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: So just speaking about that, I mean, this is funny because I've told that story a long time, but it's really true. It's either I could have had all the ‘should’s and I would have had to unlearn them, but thank goodness I didn't because I was so young. Because we aren't born with our ‘should’s, were taught them.
Jen: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Well, so fast-forward and tell us the story of manifesting your husband.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
[Laughter]
Jaya: Well, we have to start it like jump a few speed bumps. So I ended up getting married again in my late 20s.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And that was another huge low point after I went to couples therapy alone, couples group therapy alone; which you've heard this story. And I don't need to dive into it too much, but that was this phase of, “Okay, I know who I am, but what do I actually want and deserve, and what am I willing to ask for?”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And that is the next step in the manifesting process (Laughs). And I really got serious about what I want and it sort of demolished the marriage I was in.
Jen: So you decided you wanted to do belly dancing and the Brazilian whatever. (Laughs)
Jaya: Mm-hmm. (Laughs)
Jen: So what else did that process look like of nailing down what you wanted?
Jaya: At that point, it was the, “Who am I?” and then the second divorce was the, “What do I want?” So there's like 2… you know, these… I used… like I said, these were opportunities, even though they are super painful.
Jen: Oh, “Who am I?” Mm-hmm. So are these like steps that we can follow to…
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen:… figure out what we want? Okay, oh wait, backing up. So number one, “Who am I?” how do we figure that out?
Jaya: You know, this is of course trial and error, and I believe that clarity comes with action. And that's what I did; I took a lot of action. I was like, “Well, I'm a belly dancer. Well… and now I do martial arts; I'm a badass,” you know?
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: “Who am I? Who am I?” and it really just… life is going to give you opportunity to decide who you are within each opportunity. And so I think it's less about like, “What steps do we take to do it?” and more just about a mindset and a mind frame of being open to the question, “Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who do I want to be in this situation?” and then putting ourselves into new situations to discover new parts of ourselves.
Jen: Hmm, okay, so just being open.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Not relying on those ‘should’s that people tell us we should be, that's a big part of it.
Jaya: It really is. And so I actually wrote out this 4-step process that I wanted to talk about, and it's so funny because organically, this just happened. But what I wrote down was, step number one, “Saying no is the fastest way to clearing space for a yes.”
Jen: (Gasps) Ooh yeah.
Jaya: Right?
Jen: I love that.
Jaya: And so that is a big part of claiming who you are. And it's not being negative or me and to say no because it might be being negative and mean to say yes, and then actually be saying no to something else; because they go hand in hand.
Jen: Say that quote again, “Saying no is…”
Jaya: “Saying no is the fastest way to clearing space for a yes.”
Jen: For yes, okay, I love it.
Jaya: And we do have to remember that there's two sides to every coin. And so when we say yes, we're also saying no…
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: … to something because we have a human capacity.
Jen: Okay, and then we don't need to feel guilty.
Jaya: Right, which I know that that's all the ‘should’ stuff, right?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: But what if it truly just is what you want or don't want and you decide that?
Jen: Right.
Jaya: What would that look like?
Jen: Right. Well, that's good. So that's the first step, figuring out who you are and saying no so you can clear space for a yes.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Ooh, that's good.
Jaya: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. So I acted that out. So I'm a physical learner. I didn't need to go get a PhD like you, miss fancy-pants.
[Laughter]
Jaya: I mean, mad respect to you; amazing. I have lived in the school of life, and so have you as well, I'm sure.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: But I really embodied these lessons.
Jen: Mm-hm.
Jaya: It only took me 20 years.
Jen: Right, right.
Jaya: So it might be longer, a little longer than the PhD school of life.
Jen: So you figured out you liked belly dancing and the other thing, and then, you know…
Jaya: (Laughs)
Jen: I can't say it. Say it again for us.
Jaya: Yeah, it's capoeira; capoeira.
Jen: Capoeira, mm-hmm. Okay, tell us the next lesson and how you learned that.
Jaya: So then I got married again, but I got married again with the same blueprint that I had the first one.
Jen: Okay.
Jaya: Meaning…. well, my therapist told me my picker was broken. It's just that I didn't have all of the requirements that my higher self really has; my true self.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: I had the requirements that were very basic, like… well, of course he was nice to me and he was clean and he had money too, and, you know I mean? And we were best friends, but I hadn't really gotten real, real with myself in terms of what I require in life; what I require.
Jen: So what did you require?
Jaya: The thing that stuck out the most and that came out at that point was that I require growth. I require spiritual consciousness and I require that in my marriage. And I need the freedom to be able to discover those things and have them be seen inside of a marriage.
Jen: So you didn't stay with the second husband, but you…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: … started a process of discovering what you actually required. So that was the…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: What would you call that step, the “What do I want?”?
Jaya: Mm-hmm. It is; it's like, “What do I want?” but it's, “What do I require?”
Jen: Ooh, yeah.
Jaya: “What do I require?”
Jen: Okay. So as we're thinking about 2018, we're going to come around to this again.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Keep listening but we can figure out, “What do we require for 2018?” Okay, what's the next step and how did that play out?
Jaya: So then stuff I wrote down is number 2, although, “What do you require?” is probably 1, you know, step 1.2, and then this is step 2, is to purposely plant your seeds and to ask for what you truly want.
Jen: Ooh, oh my gosh. So how did you do that?
Jaya: If we think about it, so I'm using a garden analogy. So I'm guessing everyone can kind of visually see this and understand it. It's like, if you want lettuce to grow, you have to plant a lettuce seed, not just any seed. So I can say, “Okay, it's time to plant your seeds. What do you truly desire? What do you want? What do you require?” and yet, if you're like, “Cool, I'm just nonchalantly plant some seeds,” well, you're not going to get what you want necessarily. You might luck out, but it's way, way more guaranteed that you're going to get what you want if you plant the seed you know is going to grow into what you want.
Jen: So you knew you wanted a husband who would engage in growth and spiritual consciousness and see that in you and you could connect in that way. So how on earth do you plant that seed if wanted it?
Jaya: Yeah. I knew I wanted to get married again and I knew I want to have another baby.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: And at that point, my daughter was 11 and I kept saying, “Well, when she's 8, I'll have another baby. Well, when she's 9,” and now… (Laughs)
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: And now, she’s 11. And I went on this real journey of flexing my requirements. And so I would say that is planting the seed. Every time you specifically say to the universe, “This is what I want, this is what I don't want,” so it's an elaboration of step 1 which is to say yes and no or say no, but I did it on a repetitive basis. Because I moved to Portland, Oregon, and I don't know if any of your listeners live in Portland, Oregon or have been here, but there is not a plethora of like manly men.
[Laughter]
Jaya: There's a thing that happens to men that live here. I don't know why; I don't know why it happens, but they're just not really my style. Because I'm like a bold woman and I was a belly dancer and I'm… I'm pretty sexy, you know, I'm curvy and…
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: … I needed man who could handle that, not… you know, I just I have to have some of that testosterone and… and manly, like he's going to chop wood and…
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: … carry the groceries and that kind of thing. So I just kept dating all these guys who were just a big, fat no. And I got to really not only say no, and here's really a big part of the second phase, is to be specific, right? We're specifically planting the lettuce. We're not just planting a seed. It's not just an intention, it's specific. And so I had an opportunity to practice this over and over again. “No thank you, I require that a man I date does not drink 4 drinks on the first date.”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: “No thank you, I require a man that calls back when he says he's going to.”
Jen: Yep.
Jaya: Like… and it wasn't… I didn't just play the aloof game and be like, “Well, I'm just going to not answer his call.” I would pick up the call and I would tell him exactly what I require, in the form of, “… and it's not you.”
Jen: Ooh!
[Laughter]
Jen: Jaya, you have chesticles. I love it.
[Laughter]
Jaya: Oh my gosh! It just felt like I didn't do it for them; I didn't do it for them, I did it for me.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: Because I felt like, the more clear I am and the more I claim this, I just had to practice.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: And I knew that if I didn't practice those things, that I would get into another relationship and I would have tons of opportunity to practice, and I didn't want to; I wanted to be like a master of my own requirements and being able to speak them when I got into a new relationship.
Jen: And dating was the perfect way to practice that; oh my gosh.
Jaya: Right?
Jen: That’s amazing.
Jaya: It really is. It is and it's just, I'll plant the seed and then you're like, “Okay, well, it's not… you know, it's not the right kind of lettuce,” (Laughs)
Jen: Yeah, yeah.
Jaya: “It's… you do have opportunity to throw it back in if it's not the right thing.”
Jen: Yeah, yeah.
Jaya: Which is great.
Jen: So,” Who am I and what do I require?”
Jaya: Mmm.
Jen: You figure that out, then you start planting the seeds and asking for what you want.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: And getting on the phone and telling these people why they're not what you want; love it.
Jaya: Mm-hmm. And being specific; very, very specific about it.
Jen: Okay. So these steps, let's give them the title, what are we doing with these steps? What do you call this?
Jaya: I mean, this is a manifesting process. This is the manifesting abundance process, we can call it.
Jen: ‘How to manifest your abundant, amazing life’, okay.
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen: Okay.
Jaya: And it's true for anything, but I know, for me, and like the women I work with and you, what do we want? We all want abundance. And the thing about abundance is it's so amazing because it's love, its wealth, its health, its spirituality; it encompasses everything.
Jen: Mm-hmm. Oh boy, I love it.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Okay, so you have all of that now.
Jaya: I do, yeah, and I work on it at the same time, do you know what I mean? Like, I'm not… I'm a little like have it…
Jen: Abundance is always growing. Right.
Jaya: Yeah. I'm always like continually holding the space for it.
Jen: Mm-hmm. Okay, so we have step 1 and 2 then; plant the seeds and be very specific.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: What's next?
Jaya: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. So then this is a piece that happened inside of that dating situation for me, which is, “Don't wait. Don't watch the seed grow, don't watch the water boil,” right, “Don't wait because waiting is inherently encompasses impatience.”
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: I mean, if you're anything like me, I'm waiting for something, I'm going to be impatient. And impatience is a form of resistance and it will deflect abundance.
Jen: Oh! Okay, so you're trying to find this perfect guy, how do you not wait?
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: How did you not wait?
Jaya: So this is what I wrote down on my third step and then I'll apply it to how I don't wait. I didn't wait because I kept dating and I didn't sit home and wait, you know, and so I'll elaborate on that. But…
Jen: Okay.
Jaya: I put note here next to this, “Don't wait. The best way to water your seed is to fill your own cup with the water.”
Jen: Ooh, okay.
Jaya: So it's like, I've set the intention, I want the thing, I have the desire, I'm going to water this, I'm going to nurture this desire. But the beautiful thing is that… I mean, this is where the spiritual work comes in is that, you have to let it go, but yet care about it more than you care about anything in the world, but let it go (Laughs). How do you do that?
Jen: Huh, so tell us more about what you mean by filling your own cup with the water…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: …or how you're nurturing the desire, which we’d be feeling during this phase.
Jaya: Okay. So this is where we get into the frequency and the idea that everything has a frequency; that every emotion, that every thought, that every feeling has a frequency.
Jen: Okay.
Jaya: Just like that water in a cup and you speak to the water in a negative or positive way and the water reacts differently, I mean, its scientific; scientifically proven that we all are a frequency, that that's what we are to our core, and that how we feel and what we think affects that. So the idea here is that, how you water your seed and how you water your intention is that you meet that intention and the growth of that seed with your own frequency. And that's by filling your cup. The very, very best thing I have ever seen to do for… ever done myself is to take care of myself and just be the receptacle; be in the vibration, be the person I want to be along the way and the person I want to be when I receive the thing.
Jen: Mm-hmm, okay. So be the person you want to be if you already had… as if you already had what you want.
Jaya: Yes, yeah. And I think people get a little like, “But how? But I want a husband and I'm single and I'm lonely.”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: So that's the thing. I mean, a couple things I did was I actually just acted like I had the love. Because the love that I give my husband and the love I allow myself to feel from my husband is all me anyway. He doesn't actually give me anything I can't feel myself.
Jen: True; that's deep.
Jaya: Right? I allowed it in. So one of the things I did actually, was I woke up every morning and I just imagined him being there, and I imagined what it would feel like to wake up next to the love of my life, how would my heart feel, what would I be thinking, how would I want to be, and I just did that. And I was like, you know… I mean I didn't like talk to him all the time or anything, but I would just be like, “Mmm,” you know? And I wake up that… I wake up this morning. I wake up a little more chipper than he does so he usually like grunts at me, but I'm like, “Hmm,” you know, “There it is.”
[Laughter]
Jen: So you imagined him being there for how long?
Jaya: Yeah, that was probably a year like the last year of it.
Jen: And so you imagined what it would feel like for him to be there and you tried to feel into that energy, raising your own vibration in the process.
Jaya: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Just being the person who wakes up feeling loved.
Jen: Hmm.
Jaya: Because we have to think about it. It is like esoteric, but it's also very practical. If you think about that you want to wake up happy and feeling love when someone comes into your life, but you're going to wait until they get there… (don't wait, right?) but you're going to wait until they get there to feel that…
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: … that's just… we all know like practically, that's not how it works.
Jen: So what if someone's already married and it's hard to wake up and feel the love? (Laughs)
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: What do you say for that?
Jaya: Mm-hmm. Well, I think we sort of go back to step 1 which is to really decide what you require and what you're asking for.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: Because it might be an indication that you're not really meeting your own needs or you're not asking for your needs.
Jen: Ah, that's true.
Jaya: Right?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And then it also could be an indication that you're neglecting yourself. So in stage 3, we're not waiting; we're not waiting for him to change. And I knew you and I talked about this on a personal level. It's like, we're not waiting for him to change, we are growing. And inherently, what's going to happen when you start growing, is someone's either going to grow or they're going to be left behind. And you don't even have to make any decisions about that, it's going to be clear what's happening.
Jen: Right, right, gotcha. So you mentioned step 3, what's step 3 again? So I can make sure I've got it.
Jaya: So it was, “Don't wait.”
Jen: Don't wait.
Jaya: “Don't wait. The best way to water your seed or seeds is to fill your own cup with the water.”
Jen: Okay, got it. Oh, that's brilliant. Is there a fourth step?
Jaya: Yes, there is. Okay, so here's the thing, we have to harvest; we need to actually harvest what we want. So when I met my husband, I had cleared the space for him to come into my life. I didn't have a boy to lay on the side (Laughs). I didn't… you know, in fact, I had been dating someone 2 weeks prior and I wasn't… I was kind of like, “Uh, I don't really know about him,” and I just got rid of him. And I know that sounds rude, I don't mean it on a… it's more of an energetic thing; like I got rid of the energy. I was kind to him as a human. But I got rid of the energy and I knew, I thought to myself, “Who do I want to be when I meet my soulmate? And who… how do I want him to be? Do I want him to be just sleeping with some random girl on the side but it's not really the person he loves? And, no, like I don't want him to have to break up with someone to be with me.”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: “And I don’t want to have to break up with someone to be with him.”
Jen: Right.
Jaya: And so that was very clear to me. It's just like, “Okay, the garden is now fruitful and ready,” well, if you pick all the apples or all the lettuce or whatever, where are you going to put it if your kitchen is all full of other stuff?
Jen: Ooh.
Jaya: If you don't have a place for it, it's not going to come in. And it might be there waiting for you to take it and harvest it, but you're not going to pick it because we only take on what we have the capacity to take on.
Jen: Okay. So you will harvest what you want and you have space for it. So you met your husband.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Where did you meet?
Jaya: Mm-hmm. We met at a nightclub, of course, like any people in their late 30s would do.
[Laughter]
Jaya: Oh, it's the funniest thing. It was actually my 35th birthday and my girlfriends were like, “Jaya, there's this reggae DJ…” because I am a reggae fanatic and like it's really severe how much I love reggae. So I was super excited, we were going to go out to reggae. And Jonathan was coming up from… he lived in LA. And him and his brother drove up from LA, and it's like 12 or 13 hours.
Jen: For the reggae DJ?
Jaya: No… well, kind of.
Jen: Oh.
Jaya: He came up because his dad was visiting from Pittsburgh; was visiting some family he has in Portland, who he had never met, but it was more like his dad's extended family.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: So, Josh, my husband's brother, and Jonathan, my husband, drove up to see their dad…
Jen: Ah.
Jaya: … and meet this extended family in Portland. They had just gotten here that day, it was a Friday, my birthday was actually on Thanksgiving that year, on Thursday (Laughs). so the next day was Friday, I know, and the uncle who they had never met, thought that the DJ was their friend or something. And so what turned out is that the DJ was not their friend and there was no reggae.
Jen: Hmm.
Jaya: And we will literally just brought there to meet, and it felt that way. So when I walked into that place, I felt his creepy eyes on me like they were daggers. (Laughs)
Jen: Really? (Laughs)
Jaya: I only really say creepy because, at the time, that's how I felt.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And because he was sitting at the bar with his dad and they do kind of look alike and it was dark. And Jonathan had on this like polo shirt with a sweater and it was very dorky looking and I was like, “Oh, okay, who is this guy?” I thought he was old. I thought he's kind of older because I just kind of clumped him together with his dad.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: So I was like, “Who are these old guys staring at me?” you know?
[Laughter]
Jaya: And I just went about my business. I know I kind of had dressed up. I remember I had a little leather jacket on and like jeans and high boots and boots with the fur, not even kidding. And (Laughs)… I was just hanging out with my girlfriend. And Jonathan just did not ever stop looking at me.
Jen: Whoa!
Jaya: It was literally like he knew. And he says it… there was a glass window when you first walk in. So his version is that he saw me walk in and he knew.
Jen: Hmm.
Jaya: I don't know if he knew we were going to get married and everything, but he knew he was going to talk to me.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: So about halfway through the evening, he goes up to the front where all his family is dancing and then circles around to get on his good ear. So Jonathan is deaf in one ear.
Jen: Hmm.
Jaya: He can't hear at all out of one ear. And in social situations where it's loud like that, it's a really big deal.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: Because if you're on his bad side, he will not hear anything you say.
Jen: Right.
Jaya: So he had to arrange himself to come and be on his good ear. And I saw him, he did it this like dorky… and you got to see me doing it, this dorky little dance with his little polo shirt on in his sweater.
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: And he walks up, and he's not… he was 32 at the time, so he was not old at all. And he was like, “Hey, what's up?”
[Laughter]
Jaya: And I was like, “Hey, what's up with the sweater?”
[Laughter]
Jen: You said that?
Jaya: Yeah.
[Laughter]
Jen: Oh!
Jaya: Oh, you know, I am the truth teller.
Jen: Right.
Jaya: So I just don't… I just say what I think.
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: And what’s so good is that it totally broke the ice, you know? Because, you know, he's nervous. I mean, he spent a good hour plotting this out; you know he did.
Jen: “Hey, what’s up?” (Laughs)
Jaya: He’s like, “I’ve got to get out my good ear.”
[Laughter]
Jen: Oh my gosh.
Jaya: Yeah, it took him an hour to figure that.
Jen: Oh, that’s so funny.
Jaya: It was so funny and it just immediately broke the ice. And he's an adorable person and man and so he just… he was quite charming and we just chatted, and I knew right away. So I was 35, right?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: I'd been single for 4 years. I had been dating and practicing my requirements and I was like always, always looking at everything with a critical eye like, “Hhmm, where… how does this fit? How does this fit? Where are the red flags?” you know?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And he just didn't have any.
Jen: Wow.
Jaya: He didn't have any red flags and he was… he was great. And he was 32 and he was like a man. And he's from Philadelphia and kind of lived in the woods in Philadelphia.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: Or I’m sorry, Pittsburgh. And, you know, so he was very manly in comparison to these…
[Laughter]
Jaya: … what else is happening in Portlandia.
Jen: Portlandia.
[Laughter]
Jaya: Exactly. And so I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is really cool.” So I mentioned right away that I had a daughter, you know, a 15 year old… actually, she was 14 at the time; 14 year old daughter. And… you know, because that can be a deal breaker for some people, especially a young, good-looking guy who's single, never… he'd never been married, he had no kids, he lived in LA.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And I didn't know. And so I mentioned something about my daughter and I remember what he said to me, and this is literally not very long after the sweater comment, you know? I'm saying like, the first couple minutes I got it right in there, and he said, “Oh yeah, I really can't wait to have kids.”
Jen: Ooh!
Jaya: Uh-huh.
Jen: Oh yeah.
Jaya: And I was like, “Okay, yeah, I like you.”
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: And so we just talked. It was literally like a spotlight shone on us and everything around us went dark, you know? It really felt like that; it felt really magical. And then he went back to LA. We actually had one date on Saturday night and then on Sunday, I went to brunch with his whole family; all the men. It was like 4…
Jen: Really?
Jaya: … and his brother…
Jen: He took you?
Jaya: … his brother, his… yeah.
Jen: That soon?
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen: But they knew when you were at the nightclub that something was up because you talked all night?
Jaya: Yeah, they met me and they…
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: He was like, “Hi, this is my… this is Jaya,” you know? And he's introducing me to everybody.
Jen: No! That's amazing!
Jaya: At the nightclub, yeah, I know.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: Yeah. And I remember he walked me to my car, I mean, he just did everything right, and I had studied this. I mean, I was an expert at what was right wrong to do yeah at this point yeah because I was not going to do what I had done before right and wrong to do…
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: … at this point. Because I was not going to do what I had done before.
Jen: Right.
Jaya: And just been like, “Oh, you like me? Yay!”
[Laughter]
Jaya: “That’s cool.”
Jen: (Laughs). Oh, that's great. So you went to brunch, and… and…
Jaya: Yes. So we went to brunch and I was like, “This feels really big because who does this?” It felt like it was out of a movie or something. He just was chivalrous. And I remember it was raining and he had an umbrella and he was trying to hold it over me and it was…
Jen: Oh!
Jaya: … it was quite annoying actually because I was like, “This is so irritating! Can I just hold it?” And so it actually started to rub me the wrong way, how…
Jen: Chivalrous.
Jaya: … much did everything right. Yeah.
Jen: Yeah, yeah.
Jaya: And how it was just… he showed up, he just did all the things. And I didn't get too uncomfortable because it was a short amount of time and then he flew him. I drove him to the airport that day on Sunday.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: And I said, “You know, I have my daughter,” I had a personal training business at that point and I said, “I'm not moving to LA.” And he was like, “I can't move to Portland,” and I was like, “Okay, well, bye.”
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: And that… that was it.
Jen: Wow.
Jaya: And then he called that night and I was like, “Alright, this is on.”
[Laughter]
Jaya: And I went down 3 weeks later for Christmas for 5 days and stayed with him at his house. Do not… I do not recommend that. That is a terrible like third date or whatever. It really just gave way too much opportunity to have all of those demons come up that are like, “Wait, but this is wrong. And what does this mean?” and all the… you know, just to get in my head basically.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: And I got in my head and I thought, “This is not right.” Because I had this expectation, “Okay, there's all this amazingness. Oh my gosh, my whole life has led up to this. We're either going to not be compatible or we're going to totally get married over the weekend.” (Laughs). It just felt like something had to be determined, and that was the first mistake. Because it just was going to be what it was, but I… I didn't have that easygoing mentality around it. I felt like there had to be some decisions made, and he did too; I mean, it was intense!
Jen: So was this part of your resistance? You talked about resistance earlier.
Jaya: Yeah, this was so much resistance; so much resistance. And I really wasn't even sure if I wanted to harvest it. Like this is that fourth step where you get to decide; you do. And I could have decided no or I could have decided yes.
Jen: Mm-hmm. But you knew it was what you wanted, but then you're like freaking out. Yeah.
Jaya: Yeah. I knew I like was attracted to him and he was super cute and sweet to me, but he was just so different than all the other men who I had divorced.
Jen: Right.
[Laughter]
Jaya: Right?
Jen: Right.
Jaya: So, I mean, the quick version of this is that, when I left, I said, “You're going to make someone an amazing husband.”
Jen: Wow.
Jaya: “And it's just not me.” And I flew home and we didn't talk until New Year's; so a week.
Jen: Ooh, that’s a long time.
Jaya: We didn't speak at all.
Jen: Wow.
Jaya: It is, after that, because we had spent 5 days together.
Jen: Yeah, yeah. Who called who?
Jaya: He texted me on New Year's Day, “Happy New Year's.”
Jen: Oh! Aww!
Jaya: And I said… and I knew, and I had been toying with it, but I… I missed him, but I was like, “Am I just lonely? I don't want to pull him back into my life unless it really means something,” becasue I cared about him and how he felt.
Jen: Mm-hm.
Jaya: And I was the one who cut it off, and so I was like, “Don't self-indulge into these feelings that you miss him if you don't really know if you want to move forward.”
Jen: Right.
Jaya: So that's why I hadn't been… but as soon as he… he sent me that message and then I called him but he wasn't available, and he called me back later that evening. And as soon as I heard his voice, I knew; and I've never, ever questioned or looked back from that point.
Jen: Ooh! So how long did you guys date until you married?
Jaya: Well, that was, you know, just a month into meeting and then he came up that next weekend. I was opening a fitness studio and he came up and helped me buy all of the… not pay for it, but help me move all of the equipment and move into my new studio. And I remember him saying, “I want to come up and help you because I want to be able to say that I was a part of this.”
Jen: Oh!
Jaya: I know. And I was like, “Wow, this guy really means business.” So he actually proposed within 5 months. It was like 5 months in, he moved to Portland, a couple months after that, we got married and pregnant within 11 months. And now that was… we just… I call it our cosmic anniversary; that day we met is our cosmic anniversary, the day after my birthday. And we just had our 6-year cosmic anniversary.
Jen: Ooh, I like that.
Jaya: Isn't that cute?
Jen: So you went through these steps essentially, you figured out…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: … after the first and second divorces, “Who am I? What do I require?”
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Then you started to flex your requirements and…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: … shift into that energy of feeling the way you would feel once you had what you wanted.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: And then that, “Don't wait,” one, you know?
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Watering yourself, taking care of yourself and making sure you feel the right way, and then harvesting.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: So part of harvesting was identifying that resistance and just still being open to, “This is what I want.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Just being aware that they're still going to be resistance coming up.
Jaya: Well, that's the thing I think why the… you know, the law of attraction and manifesting feels like it doesn't work for so many people, is because this is the part that is… there's not very much education about.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: This isn't what the secret talks about. The secret talks about, “Ask and you shall receive,” right?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: “Ask, believe, receive.” But the truth is, is that we all have resistance, and resistance will not allow you to see the blessing.
Jen: Wow.
Jaya: It doesn't mean the blessing isn't there. And so I say here in my note to harvest is, “Abundance is the result of harvested fruit and gratitude and the space to have it; the space to have it all.” So clearing the resistance, (and that just means recognizing it and then choosing whether you want to continue in that thought process) is the same thing as clearing the counters to put all the harvested apples on, right?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: That's the clearing process and that cannot happen truly until you're faced with, “How many apples are there? How big is the thing?” When I met my husband, I didn't know that I would’ve had this resistance towards being with a super nice guy that actually paid attention to me.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: I thought that's what I wanted, but when I actually felt it, I was like, “I don't have space for this. I don't know how to hold this.”
Jen: Ah, yeah.
Jaya: So I resisted it, right?
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: And that's where I think that this is really the work of life.
Jen: Hmm.
Jaya: That's where the real work comes in is to actually allow yourself to have what you want and to continually challenge that resistance and clear the space to receive it and live in that abundance and gratitude, is a really great practice for that.
Jen: Oh, okay. So what would that look like? Just 5 things you're grateful for every morning or..?
Jaya: Yeah. I mean, if it's something specific that you're looking at, you know, “Okay, I want this thing, but I just got it. And now, it doesn't feel like what I thought it was going to because it feels resistant.” And resistance, for a lot of people, comes up as anxiety, as overwhelm, as fatigue; that may be an indication that you have resistance towards something. So I need more gratitude as like a way of life. So in that time going, “Okay…” and this is… I was barely able to do it at this point; way, way better at it now than I was 6 years ago. But, at the time I thought, “Well…” I just challenged it. You know, I was like, “Okay, I think that this is really annoying and I don't want it, but, Jaya, you said this is what you want. So like how could you..? He doesn't need to change, the situation doesn't need to change, how do I need to shift inside of this?” And, yeah, so gratitude can be like, “Thank you for allowing me to see this. Thank you for giving me this resistance so I can rediscover what I truly want or reaffirm what I truly want; thank you.”
Jen: Oh yeah.
Jaya: Right? You see what I mean? So it's like when we resist the resistance, there's just more resistance.
Jen: Ah, so be grateful for resistance.
Jaya: Yeah. (Laughs)
Jen: Be grateful for the anxiety and the overwhelm and fatigue that come when you're receiving…
Jaya: Yes.
Jen: … something that you've always wanted. Mmm, I like that.
Jaya: And… right? But this is the point, and especially for women, because we are so dang hard on ourselves, we're like, “Oh, this means I'm not perfect,” and we use it as evidence to say that in some way we're failing.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: Because we're anxious or overwhelmed or exhausted.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And what if that's just creating more resistance and less of what you truly want?
Jen: Right, right. So let's take a quick break for a sponsor and then come back and talk about how we can use this 4-step process in our own goals for 2018.
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(Interview resumes) [40:36]
Jen: Okay, welcome back, Jaya. So a lot of women in 2018, I… the most cliché goals are, you know, lose weight or…
Jaya: Mmm.
Jen: I don't know, get a new job; I don't know what they all are. But I would kind of guess, a lot of my followers want to strengthen their relationships at home, with their spouse, with their kids.
Jaya: Mmm.
Jen: How could we apply this process there?
Jaya: Mm-hmm. It's so beautiful because, like I said, you asked me initially, “Well, one was a low point,” and I'm like, “Well, yesterday.” (Laughs)
Jen: Right.
Jaya: Because the truth is, is I don't believe that we get there. I mean, a spiritual practice or being enlightened or being your best self even is not a destination, it's a way of being.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: So inside of that, it's always… it's like a restart. We just got to restart and go back to the initial phase that's like, “What am I saying yes to that is not aligned with my truth? What do I need to say no to so I can say yes to more of what?”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And, I mean, it's just got to be simple or we're going to get overwhelmed by it, and I think that is a fantastic place to start.
Jen: “What can I say no to so I can say yes to more of what I want?”
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen: That's empowering.
Jaya: Right?
Jen: And constantly going back to it all year.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Not just giving up 2 years into your resolution. (Laughs)
Jaya: Mm-hmm. And it gets down to such small things, even into conflict or conversations. If you're having a conflict with your husband and you don't like the way that it's going, sometimes I say no inside of that, like, “No, I'm not willing to talk when the defensiveness is a big thing for us that we work on.” And so I'm really sensitive; when someone gets defensive, I'm like, “Okay, no, I don't want to talk to you anymore,” because there is no growth in defensive. Defensiveness is like the opposite of fertile ground; it's like stone cold ground. (Laughs)
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: So… right?
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: And so I'm like… I say no. I just say, “No, I won't talk because I'm saying yes to the opportunity for more growth.”
Jen: And then you go back and talk when the defensiveness is gone.
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen: Ooh, that's empowering.
Jaya: Right?
Jen: And you're also saying no to feeling like crap because of the fight that would start when you engage when someone's defensive.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Oh, that's good.
Jaya: Exactly. The only thing to do when someone's defensive is to either walk away or get defensive.
Jen: Right. Wow, that's good. Do you recommend people hold a vision of what they want and try every day to shift into the energy of what that would feel like?
Jaya: I love visualizations. I feel like you could do it in a structured way where you do it inside of your meditation, you know, in a very disciplined way. You can also just keep it in mind. I literally asked myself the question, “What do you want, Jaya?” multiple times in one day. If I start to get off and I start to get… some… well, you know, I'm an entrepreneur, sometimes I get a little like distracted (Laughs). And it takes a lot of focus, right; a lot of focus to stay on task.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: So sometimes when I'm feeling a little unfocused, I just say, “What do you want? What do you really want?” And sometimes that's bigger picture, but it gets me into the vibration of, “Okay, I know what I want. I can embody that and I need to remind myself of it.” So, yeah, I mean, I don't teach really big visualizations and take yourself on this whole big journey, I'm more of like a practical, “How do you fit it into your everyday life?” and really just shifting your mindset to start focusing on getting what you want and being clear about it and addressing how that feels to be that person who has it.
Jen: Yeah. And that gardening analogy I think is going to be really helpful because it's as simple…
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: … as deciding what plant you want, “What do you want?”
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Plant that seed, water yourself and… as much as the seed, then harvest, it grab it, take it, receive it.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Love that.
Jaya: Mm-hmm. And clear the way, you know? So there's intricacy, right? I can't just say, “Oh, there's a 4-step process to getting everything you want in life,” I mean, maybe I could sell that, but the truth is, is that there's layers and there's intricacy inside of each step. And that becomes the dance with yourself; that's your relationship with yourself.
Jen: Right, right. So I know you have a meditation you wanted to give our listeners, tell us about that.
Jaya: Yeah, I do. I created, about 3 months ago, something called the ‘instant high vibe meditation’. And I did it for a group I was facilitating at the time, but I've been listening to it lately. So I'll be honest, I am not an everyday meditator, although I should change my language around that and say, “I'm working on being an everyday meditator.”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And I really need a little bit of focus. So I really have a challenging time just sitting down and being like, “Okay, now everything is dark and quiet.” (Laughs)
Jen: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Jaya: It’s just… I need something to pull me into that alignment and into that focus on stillness and my breath. And so this is so good for that because it's 7 minutes, it's just my voice, and I am like not messing around. I'm pulling you on to this train of like, “Here we are. We're focusing on you and we're breathing now.” And I walk you through the 3 power feelings that I believe get us into a high vibe state and how to like feel them; I just walk through like a little visualization of like stepping into that feeling.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And then you're done and you're like literally levitating. (Laughs)
Jen: Oh yeah.
Jaya: Like, “What?”
Jen: Oh yeah.
Jaya: So good, so good! So I say, for anybody who is meditating, it’d be a great addition, but if you're not and you've been curious about it, this is such a good meditation 101. And you don't even have to sit still if you don't want to, you could just listen to this and breathe.
Jen: Yeah. Well, we're going to have a link to that at jenriday.com/jaya, spelt j a y a, in honor of you.
Jaya: Mm-hmm, yay!
Jen: That sounds great, Jaya, thanks for that. That's good.
Jaya: Yeah, definitely.
Jen: Well, let's talk about a few of your favorite things. So what is your morning routine typically looking like?
Jaya: Okay. Well, I pretty much feel like I have to pee, but it's too cold to get up so I just lay there.
[Laughter]
Jaya: And then I hear Ava, who's our 4 year old, from the other room say, “Mommy, daddy, can I get up?” and then we both yell to her, “Yes,” but she doesn't hear us and that goes on about 4 times, and she will not…
[Laughter]
Jaya: She will not get up until she hears us say yes.
Jen: Aww.
Jaya: So we have to actually wake up and scream at her that she can get up.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: Oh my gosh, it's literally so funny. That is how I wake up every single morning. (Laughs)
Jen: That's funny; that’s so funny.
Jaya: (Laughs). I know; I know. So I don't get up early. I've worked on this and I just realized that it's just not who I am to get up early…
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: … before everybody and do my own thing. So I get up and I do the family thing; first thing.
Jen: Oh, nice.
Jaya: Yeah. My husband takes Ava to school and then I have my time and I'll do my 10 minutes of meditating and then move on. I'm a big workout person as well, so at least like 3 or 4 days a week, I go to the gym; which I'm going to do after this.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And so, in terms of routine, it's very simple, but yet it's every day. So, for me, I have to eat healthy. So I don't have like, “Oh, I have to do this and that,” I do try and do a smoothie with spirulina in it because I love spirulina. I highly suggest it for all the mamas out there, but for anybody. It's made like my hair silkier and my nails grow stronger, so you only can imagine what it's doing for you internally as well.
Jen: Yeah, that's spirulina; spirulina.
Jaya: Its spiru… yeah.
Jen: (Laughs).
Jaya: I know I’ll spell it wrong.
Jen: I can’t say it.
Jaya: Spirulina. We…
Jen: Spirulina.
Jaya: We order a big bag of it on Amazon and I think it's magical. So I do try and have that daily and then I eat lots of vegetables. And I'm extremely sensitive, highly sensitive; so no alcohol, no caffeine, lots of water. I drink a gallon of water a day, hence the having to pee in the morning (Laughs). And those are a few of the core things that, if I didn't do those things, I would feel very off.
Jen: Hmm, yeah. And I like how you put your family first then the ‘Jaya time’.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: And you're really working on raising your vibration and feeling good; filling your cup, yeah.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: What's your favorite easy meal?
Jaya: Mmm. So, lately, I've been going more towards vegetarian just because I have a… I don't know why, I just feel an energy around it, and I'm like, “I just think I'm not supposed to eat meat right now,” so I'm not really eating meat. So, lately, it's really just been I eat white rice because it's super easy to digest.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And I get my fiber in the vegetables and stuff; so I'm not worried about that. So white rice with a bunch of vegetables and I make it this really amazing tahini sauce.
Jen: Ooh!
Jaya: I actually have a recipe for it. I could probably get you the recipe for everybody if you want it; it's so good.
Jen: Yeah, please do.
Jaya: Okay, okay, cool.
Jen: Yeah, we'll put it on our show notes page, jenriday.com/95; Jaya's tahini recipe, mmm!
Jaya: Yeah, it's so good. So it gives it that like… well, I'll stay fuller longer, it has a bunch of fat and a little bit of protein, but more it's the fat.
Jen: Uh-huh.
Jaya: Because I put olive oil in it and it's very fatty; the tahini. Tahini are, in case anyone doesn't know, it's sesame seeds ground up.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: Yeah.
Jen: And I never heard of anyone making their own; I bet it's amazing.
Jaya: It is. It's just lemon and olive oil and all the good stuff.
Jen: Kind of like hummus.
Jaya: Yeah, kind of, right. Well, you put it in hummus.
Jen: Oh, okay, I'll just shut up now. (Laughs)
Jaya: Yeah. No, no! You are so right! You are so, so right!
Jen: (Laughs). Yeah, I forgot it was in hummus; okay, we got it. What is your favorite way to connect with your loved ones?
Jaya: Mmm, presence.
Jen: Ooh. Hhow do you do that with the business, by the way? You know, that's hard.
Jaya: (Laughs). Yeah. Oh, I know because I'm queen multitasker. So… well, I'm not perfect at all. I have heard of people being like, “We put all the phones away at 6:00 PM,” or… you know, and I'm like, “Ugh! I just don't do that.” So when Ava talks to me, I try really hard to just look her right in the eyes as she's talking to me. And that's so small, you know what I mean?
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: But I just… I don't have a huge thing on myself that I have to be perfect and like be the perfect mom because I've been a mom since I 19, so that is not…. that's not my main goal.
Jen: Right, you’re for that part. Yeah.
Jaya: Yeah.
[Laughter]
Jen: Well, the ‘should’s weren't ever a big thing for you, so that's lucky; good for you.
Jaya: Yes.
Jen: What's your favorite book?
Jaya: Mmm. Well, I listened to so many personal development books right now that… I don't know, they're not that fun. But you want to know what's funny? I just looked through this box of books and I remembered that my favorite book of all time is ‘The Mists of Avalon’. And I…
Jen: That was mine too! How fun is that?
Jaya: No way!
Jen: As a kid in high school, I loved those.
Jaya: Oh gosh, it was so good.
Jen: Like our first female empowerment books, really, right?
Jaya: It's so good, yeah. Yeah you're like, “Ooh, they’re…” yeah, those (unclear) [51:04]. (Laughs)
Jen: That’s the first time I encountered… yeah, yeah. (Laughs)
Jaya: Totally. So that's probably my favorite like fiction. I haven't really picked up a book and read a book in a very long time.
Jen: Yeah.
Jaya: I do that all audio, I do a lot of podcasts. So in terms of like personal development, I actually got my little thing out right now so I can tell you what I have loved. Oh, I loved ‘Big Magic’…
Jen: Oh yeah.
Jaya: …by Elizabeth Gilbert.
Jen: Oh, that's good. Okay, I'll write that one down.
Jaya: Mm-hmm. And that wasn't one of her most popular ones, but I just really, really love that.
Jen: Me too.
Jaya: ‘Awaken the Giant Within’ by Tony Robbins it's a great one as well.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And then here's one more, is ‘The Big Leap’. If anybody is interested in learning about this resistance and taking your life to the next level, oh, it's the best; ‘The Big Leap’ by Gay Hendrix.
Jen: And you work with people on taking their lives to the next level, right?
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: So where can people find you if they want to learn more about what you're doing?
Jaya: Mm-hmm. So I am actually launching a new website at the beginning of the year. So is it okay if we put it in the show notes? I'm not sure that my domain is going to stay the same. Right now, it's jayarosecoaching.com, but I need to buy someone out to get ‘jayarose’ (Laughs). So I'm trying to get that.
Jen: So we'll put that in the show notes page; jayarosecoaching.com or jayarose.com. But you can Google Jaya Rose, you'll find her. She's…
Jaya: Yeah. Okay, because there was… there was a porn star named Jaya Rose.
Jen: (Laughs)
Jaya: And she pretty much like took over Google.
Jen: Okay, don't Google her; go to the show notes. (Laughs)
Jaya: Like 6 months ago, I Googled myself and I was like, “Yeah! I beat out the porn star!”
[Laughter]
Jaya: It was so good. So another great place though is Facebook. I am very active on Facebook, I do a lot of Live videos. And you can just follow my personal page, Jaya Rose, on Facebook.
Jen: facebook.com/jayarose? Okay.
Jaya: I think so. I think that's how the… yeah.
Jen: Okay, sweet. Well, let's hear about what it means for you to be a vibrant happy woman and then we'll have a challenge from you to our listeners and say goodbye.
Jaya: Hmm, okay. What it means, to me, to be a vibrant happy woman is literally everything. When someone asked me when I was in high school what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say, “Happy.”
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: I think it's the best career you can have. The most meaningful thing we can do is to search for that and find it and search for it again and find it again. So, to me, there really is no other way to live and I feel that it's of service. And I've really come into that as I've gotten to be the age I am now; this idea that, when we are vibrant happy women and we're showing up for ourselves. Because let's get real, ladies, what does it take to actually be a vibrant happy woman? A lot of focus.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Jaya: And a lot of really getting real about yourself and what you need and all the things we talked about today. It's not just like nothing. (Laughs)
Jen: Yeah, yeah.
Jaya: So it's like it's a badge of honor and it's like an indication that you're really doing the work to be there for yourself. And it's so inspiring and it's guaranteed that it's trickling down into other people's lives and it creates a ripple effect to teach other women how to be more vibrant and happy, but in essence, do the work they're meant to do in life.
Jen: Yes, I'm with you. When you're energetically showing up as your best self, you give others permission to do the same.
Jaya: Mm-hmm. And people need it so much, you know? I mean, if that's not in alignment, then how is anything else in your life's going to be flowing and feeling good.
Jen: Right, right. And your kids pick up on your energy. When you're happy, you're giving your kids the gift of remembering you as happy; that's huge! Because that, for kids, equates with love and, you know, being important to them when you're happy around them; that’s good.
Jaya: Hmm. Oh, it's so true; and then they don't have to unlearn. I mean, I think that the true gift of being a parent is giving your kids everything they need, but also, not giving them things that they don't need to know, you know?
Jen: Right.
Jaya: Like give them as little to unlearn as possible because most adults spend their whole life trying to unlearn what they learned as a child.
Jen: Oh, so sad!
Jaya: But it's so true. Either that or they just repeat the patterns; I mean, those are our 2 options.
Jen: Right. So everyone listening, take care of you; the moral of the story.
Jaya: Hmm.
Jen: Well, what's a challenge for our listeners? And then we'll say good-bye.
Jaya: Okay, so my challenge for you all, because this is New Year's Day… oh my gosh, happy 2018! And what a fantastic time to really ask yourself, “What do I require in 2018 to be my best self to show up and to be the vibrant happy woman I know I can be?”
Jen: Ooh! So you want people to ask themselves, “What do I require in 2018 to be my best self and show up and be the vibrant happy woman I know it can be?” okay.
Jaya: Mm-hmm.
Jen: That's powerful. Well, thank you so much for being on the show, Jaya. I love you, you're amazing.
Jaya: Aww! Thank you; thank you so much. I love you and you are amazing! Bye, everybody!
Jen: After the interview, Jaya and I chatted a little bit more and she told me about a free online workshop she's offering for us, it's called ‘The Magnetic Manifesting Workshop’. She's going to share more of her tips about how to energetically attract what you want in 2018. We have a link to that in our show notes; just scroll down to the resources and sign up. I'm going to be there and I hope some of you will join us. Again, that's called ‘The Magnetic Manifesting Workshop’ and you can sign up at jenriday.com/94. Scroll down to the resources section and find the details there. I will be back on Thursday, talking about goals and intentions for 2018, especially some of my own and some from a few listeners. If you'd like to be a part of that episode or share any of your goals or ideas for 2018 with me, you can email me at support@jenriday.com or you can leave a phone message at 608-352-65986. I love to share listener thoughts on the show and I would love for you to leave a message. Again, that's 608-352-65986. I will see you Thursday. And until then, rock the first few days of 2018. Take care, my friends.
Outro: Thanks for listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast at www.jenriday.com.