3: The 7 Essential Steps to True Self Care (with Lisa Byrne)

May 30, 2016

Learn the 2 doorways we MUST walk through in order to engage in true self-care. You'll also learn how every self-care tool can become a weapon if not used appropriately.

Lisa Grace Byrne, MPH is the author of the book, Replenish, and the founder of the WellGrounded Life community where she supports and equips women and mothers to live healthy, strong, and vibrant lives. She is also the founder and director of the WellGrounded Institute for Women's Wellness which trains women to blend their passion for women's wellness, mentoring, and teaching into a career as a Wellness Educator. Lisa lives in New Jersey with her husband, 3 children, and 100 lb. yellow lab.

Nuggets of Wisdom in this episode:

“We can do no great things. We can do only small things with great love.” ~Mother Theresa
“I skidded to a stop with motherhood. My old life felt like it had to be put on hold; now I’m integrating it all back.”
“By taking on a stoic sense that I didn’t have to figure in my own well-being, I ended up being of no use.”
“I didn’t feel connected to myself. I didn’t have any part in my life that was just for Lisa. That was a personal outlet, that was reconnecting to who I was, or my sense of creativity or my sense of expression.”
The 7 Core Essentials: Calm Mind, Sovereign Thoughts, Nourished Body, Restorative Rest, Joyful Movement, Anchored Quiet, Authentic Connections, Aligned Living.
“I found that life with children didn’t allow me naturally the times of pause that I needed so that I wasn’t constantly being stimulated by outside noise and outside needs. So carving out and protecting times of quiet is critical.”
“What I’m realizing is the biggest skill of self-care is self-assessment because I’m always changing, and my life’s always changing, and the needs on me are always changing, and my hormones are changing and my kids are going through different challenges which trigger different things for me.”
“The first doorway to self-care has to be self-connection. Once self-connection is established and you become aware of yourself and aware of your needs, then the second doorway has to be self-love. If you do not choose to respond lovingly to your needs, then you could have a need and be aware of it, but you could go on the martyr road, ignoring your need, beating yourself up for having that need, or telling yourself you’re too needy or feeling guilty for that need. All of this keeps us stuck in a place where we don’t give ourselves permission to meet our own needs. It’s an act of love to empathetically look at someone and care for their needs and respond to them. Why wouldn’t we do the same for ourselves?”
“Once you’re aware of your needs and you decide you’re important enough to have those needs met, then I think you enter the world of true self-care.”
“Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right.” ~Ani DeFranco

Some of Lisa's Favorite Things:

Personal Habit: Self connection and self love.
Easy Meal: Veggie Puree Soup (cook any veggies in veggie or chicken stock, then blend with an immersion blender).
Possession: TeaVana Teamaker (easy way to make loose tea)
Books: Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Lisa's Happiness Formula:

“I am happiest when I’m kind, and when I’m trusting and when I’m grateful.”

A Challenge from Lisa:

“Find the pause and give yourself a few moments in the day just to bring yourself back to your own attention and check in. How are you doing? How are your needs and your feelings factoring into your day?”

Resources:

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About jen

Jen Riday is a mom of 6 and life coach who loves to help women experience massive happiness as they let go of stress, sadness or other chronic emotions of negativity.