62 Transcript: Taking Time to Rest and Pour Into Yourself So You Can Pour Into Others (Crystal Paine)

Click here to download the PDF version of the transcript.

J: You're listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, episode number 62.

C: He asked me this really, really pivotal question for me, he said, “What are you excited about right now?” and the question completely caught me off guard. And I looked at him and I just had to be honest and say, “Truthfully, nothing, because I'm just so tired; I'm so tired.” But… and I didn't realize until he asked me the question that I wasn't excited about anything; that I had just chased and chased and chased and I built the successful business, but it was at the expense of my health, it was at the expense of my joy.

Intro: Welcome to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast, stories of vibrant women living happy lives. And now, your host, Jen Riday.

J: Hey there, Jen here and welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women. On our last episode, I spoke with Kate Northrup and she talked all about really staying in balance and approaching problems from a perspective of listening to your intuition and staying positive in that energy of love rather than in that energy of fear. I think that was fantastic advice. So often we approach problems from this perspective of lack and scarcity and stress, and that's not the energy we really need to approach things mindfully and successfully. So if you haven't listened to that one, go back and do so; Kate had so many great things to share. And today, I'm talking with Crystal Paine from Money-Saving Mom. She has had a successful business for years, but in 2016, she felt so burnt out that she chose to take a year of rest. She untangled herself from her business obligations and that untangle meant process took her 5 full months, and then she took her year of rest. So if you’re frazzled in any way, whether that's with kids or work or your own business, you've got to listen to this episode because, according to Crystal, we could all benefit from a year of rest, and you can hear exactly how she did that. So let's go ahead and jump in.

Welcome back to Vibrant Happy Women. I'm talking to Crystal Paine today and she's a New York Times bestselling author, speaker, business consultant and founder of moneysavingmom.com. Moneysavingmom.com was started in 2007 as an offshoot of a mommy blog Crystal had and has since grown to be one of the top personal finance blogs on the web, averaging over 1.5 million unique visitors per month. Crystal lives in the Nashville area with her husband the 3 kids. Welcome to the show, Crystal.

C: I'm so excited to be here, Jen.

J: I am too; this is fun. I've seen you on Periscope, you're really an avid scoper there and that's kind of how I got to know you. And I'm excited to hear what quote you're going to share with us today.

C: So my quote when I thought about, “What would be a quote that has been really inspirational and really guided me and kind of become a personal mantra for me?” and that, instantly, I knew it was one that I read in a book. And I don't know who exactly it gets credited with it, but I first read it in… in a book about Theodore Roosevelt; so Teddy Roosevelt. And it said… it was, “Do what you can with what you got where you are.” And I love this quote and I've loved it ever since I read that book when I was in my teens because it just reminds me that we can't do all the things. And it's so easy to feel like, “Oh, I should be doing this,” and, “Oh, I should be doing that,” and, “I should do that,” but just do what you can with what you've got where you are. We can always do something so take that next step and do that right where you are.

J: Awesome. Well, take us back and tell us how you applied this quote to your low point in life and… and then what you learned from that process.

C: You know, one of… kind of the real low points for me actually happened just a few years ago and it was when I was just completely overwhelmed and stretched too thin. And in 2015, I hit just kind of the lowest point in my business that I can recall, and not because the business was not doing well, but because I had said yes to too many things. And I was in the middle of launching my third book and we were launching a lot of new products with different companies, our own products, and I was blogging and I was speaking and I was traveling and I was consulting; and I have 3 young kids and I was just stretched way too thin because I had said yes to way too many things.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: They were good things, but I had kind of just really gotten into that whole mentality that ‘more is always better’. And so I began just chasing after, you know, more traffic, more influence because I thought that equals, you know, more lives changed. But the end result was that I was just exhausted and I was stretched too thin. And I remember a meeting with another entrepreneur that I love, his name is Casey Graham, and he came into town mid-year in 2015 and he asked me this really, really pivotal question for me, he said, “What are you excited about right now?” and the question completely caught me off guard. And I looked at him and I just had to be honest and say, “Truthfully, nothing, because I'm just so tired; I'm so tired.” But… and I didn't realize until he asked me the question that I wasn't excited about anything; that I had just chased and chased and chased and I built the successful business, but it was at the expense of my health, it was at the expense of my joy. And so I just really… that was a low point for me. And that quote (going back to the quote) is… you know, I feel like I was trying to do all the things and I was trying to do more than I really could with what I had where I was because I was thinking, “Oh, I should be doing that,” and I should be doing that over there,” and, “That looks like such a good opportunity,” and, “That's such a good thing,” and instead of just embracing and loving right where I was. I read an article not too long ago, maybe you've seen it or some of your listeners have seen it because I know it's been shared a lot of times, but it was just the whole concept of, “What if we want a mediocre life?” And I don't like the word ‘mediocre’ because I more of a positive person and I don't like that, but I was like, “What if we want… what if we just are okay with a simple life?” And so I really was able to in that over the next few months just recognize that this wasn't the life that I wanted, this is… you know, and I had a choice and I could choose to get up and change this life and not live my life so exhausted and so burnt-out.

J: Right. Well, when you spoke, it reminded me of a friend of mine. She has a home business and she has 4 kids and she homeschools and, and, and; there's like 8 things she's doing. She volunteers at her church, and I remember her saying, “You know what, Jen? I want to do it all. I'm not giving any of this up,” yet in the process, she feels awful; just like you're describing. So what advice would you have for a mom like that who feels that way? What did you do and how would you even let go of all of that just to find that simple place?

C: Yeah. So that was in the middle of 2015 and it took me a few months to really get to the place where I was willing to say, “There is a serious problem here and I am the problem.”

[Laughter]

C: But to recognize that I was a problem that that also gave so much hope because I was also the solution. And so what I ended up doing was pretty dramatic, but I ended up declaring 2016 as my year of rest. And I put it out on social media at the end of November and I said, “You know, I have just been in this kind of… become this into this rat race. And I'm working for myself, I'm working from home, like I don't have to be in the rat race, but I have just said yes to way too many things, and so 2016 is going to be my year of rest.”

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And in making that commitment and putting that out there publicly, I said, “I'm going to say no to pretty much everything.”

J: Wow.

C: And it was very, very hard at first. It took me at least 4 to 5 months to untether and untangle myself from this kind of monster that I had created in the business, and it started by saying those first simple ‘no’s; which were not so simple. (Laughs)

J: Oh, yeah. (Laughs)

C: You’re saying no to these opportunities, to traveling, to really great things, but they weren't great things for me because it was too much. And so I just really committed to saying no to pretty much everything and I started doing that, and finally got to a place then where I actually had breathing room in my life again. And it felt so weird that it felt like something was wrong.

J: Ah.

C: And I realized that I had… my worth and my value had been in my work and my productivity. And I had made really an idol out of productivity.

J: Mm.

C: Like that had become the thing that I was chasing after.

J: Ooh.

C: And doing as much as I could possibly do made me feel good, and it was like a drug and I had…

J: Wow. (Laughs)

C: … used it as a coping mechanism and so when I took all of that away over a number of months of saying no and untethered myself from that and gave myself permission to breathe, I realized that I didn't really know who I was outside of being the type-a productive driven person who always has way too much on my plate. And so I went on this journey then in 2016, a kind of mid-year a kind of figuring out, “Okay, what does spark joy for me?” Because I read Marie Kondo’s life-changing ‘Magic of Tidying Up’ book, which probably you and many of your readers have… many of your followers have heard of. In her book, she applies it to the stuff in your house and how you shouldn't have anything in your house that doesn't spark joy. But I realized I want to take that a step further and I wanted to really look at my calendar and my commitments and my lifestyle and say, “What sparks joy?” So I started asking myself that question about everything and that became a barometer for me of how I then have lived my life and walked it out since then. And it's been this amazing thing for me to have the year of rest which then got me to this place where I had breathing room so then I was able to then start saying yes to a few select things that would really spark joy and bring life to me.

J: Wow, that is so brilliant. I wish you could write your own book, but, you know, stealing the idea of ‘Spark Joy’… oh wait, you're cutting back, so you're not probably writing books anymore. So… (Laughs)

C: That’s right, I’m not. I am doing, you know, a few things, which we could talk about a little…

J: Yeah.

C: … a little, but yeah, not writing books right now.

J: Oh, that's so funny. Well, so tell us what are those things for you that spark joy? What have you learned about yourself?

C: So one of the things that I realized is that I was spending way too much time on the computer.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And I realized that the computer was my safe space. It was safe it was comfortable and it felt like it was interacting with people, which it is, but it was keeping me from being in my real life. And so by cutting way back and by cutting back how many hours I was working, I said yes to being really involved in our church, which I had never done before. And so started teaching in the kids ministry, and that was something that was very different. It was funny, I remember when I sat down to have the meeting with the lady where they have to go over all the different things for being involved in the kids ministry and she's like, “Now, you've done kids ministry before, haven't you?” and I was like, “Other than raising my own kids, no.”

J: (Laughs)

C: And so it was… this is a very different very new thing. And I've just found so much joy and fulfillment from that. And then I ended up getting involved in a discipleship group in our church, which is kind of this 9-month study where you dig really deep into your family of origin, into different things in your past and just really work through… it's kind of like 9 months of counseling because you're in this small group. And that was, again, something very outside of my comfort zone, but it ended up being something that changed my life so much. And then being involved in just other people's lives like getting to know my real life community here on a much deeper level and getting to just enjoy being with my family and doing fun things and just not being on the computer so much. And another big thing that I said yes to is I said yes to my health. And I thought that I always did pretty good about taking care of myself, but I realized that years and years and years and years of pushing so hard, I had just worn down my health.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And so in the middle… it was August of 2016, I signed up with a nutritionist and kind of went on this radical journey of changing the way that I eat, changing my lifestyle, learning that I am not getting enough sleep, and changing as far as my exercise and just overall health. And so that was a big thing that I said yes to that I had no idea when I started this year of rest was going to come out of that. And it… that is just… I'm 7 months in now and I don't drink coffee anymore, which is crazy.

J: (Laughs)

C: I never thought I would survive without coffee. I sleep so much better.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: I feel so much better and I just have so much more energy and zest for life.

J: So the energy is from all the changes, not just the coffee; right, yes.

C: You know, the coffee is interesting because it started with that because that was the hardest thing for me to break myself off.

J: Okay.

C: I mean, when he said, “You're going to have to stop drinking coffee because…”

J: (Laughs)

C: You're like, “I don't think it's good for your health based upon what you're telling me because I had anxiety and different things like that.”

J: Uh-huh.

C: And, “You got to be kidding.”

J: (Laughs)

C: Like, I don't live without coffee. And… but, for me, that was… it was 2 weeks that were so hard of breaking myself of that, but when I broke free from that, of not being dependent upon coffee to survive, then I realized that I felt so empowered in other areas of my life. And I don't feel like everybody needs to give up coffee by any means; I think it's a wonderful thing and I support people who drink coffee. But, for me, I needed to break free from that because it was causing me to have anxiety, it was… it was hindering my sleep, and that then was contributing to so many other health problems.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: But it was also that I was looking to this thing, this drink that I was drinking to give me the energy to do what I needed to do, instead of just getting enough sleep and taking care of myself and eating healthy so that I…

J: Right.

C: … could have the energy to do what I needed to do.

J: Right. Well, so if 2016 was the year of health, what is 2017 for you?

C: So 2016 was the year of rest.

J: Year of rest, right.

C: 2017… yes, the year of rest, so 2017 is actually my year of ‘yes’.

J: Ooh. (Laughs)

C: And a lot of people, when (unclear) [14:33] that I was going to do that, they were like, “Oh no!” like, “No, you can't do that!”

J: (Laughs)

C: So they’d pictured that I was just going to also say, “Yes!” to everything.

J: (Laughs)

C: Really, I set some parameters for it and it was really the thing of that, I realized that there are so many things in my life during my year of rest that I had not said yes to for so long just because they kind of seemed a little bit scary or they seemed like, I didn't know if I would like that, it didn't seem safe in the sense of like it would cause me to have to step outside my comfort zone; things like that. And so I wanted to say yes to my family, yes to fun, and yes to things that were going to scare me a little bit, but hopefully kind of help me break free from fears and anxiety and be able to just walk in more freedom in my life.

J: Mm, so what… what does that look like? What kind of things are you doing right now?

C: Yes. So I actually just got done… my husband just came home from 13 days in Israel, which might seem odd that I'm saying that that's part of my year of yes, but it was me saying yes to my husband leaving for 13 days because…

J: Ah.

C: … (unclear) [15:40] families, you know, they're… like many spouses travel all the time, well, my husband does not travel; I was the one who always travels. So I have traveled internationally without him, like that's not a big deal to me; like I can do that. But for him to be gone for more than a few nights was very scary to me. And it was so good for me when we talked about him possibly doing this trip, and I knew that it was going to be something that was going to scare me because I would have to take care of the cars and, you know, get the kids everywhere that they needed to go, and if something broke down, I was going to have to figure it out. And it ended up that I lost my phone or it got stolen; which that was quite the adventure.

J: (Laughs)

C: Both of my cars broke down.

J: (Gasps) Oh no! (Laughs)

C: And my daughter hurt her leg in ice skating really bad, had to end up going to the specialist and getting x-rays. And I went on a retreat, I had said that I was chaperone a retreat for the 5th and 6th graders at our church and that ended up being quite the adventure as well.

J: Oh boy.

C: So just the whole time like every single day, it was just very much new and I had to look at it as an adventure, but it was very, very stretching. But what happened for me is that, all these things that I'm not used to taking care of, I'm not used to doing because I realized how much of my husband because we tag-team on so many things, I couldn't rely upon him and so I had to figure it out myself. And I just realized I feel so much more capable and competent at the end of this 13 day journey and adventure than I did… and I feel like it's going to help me for the rest of my life because I said, “You know, I did this for 13 days. Like, I took care of everything and dealt with the car situations and dealt with the phone situations and all that.” And so that was something that I said yes to. There's been a lot of other things that I have also said yes to and just more like saying yes to adventure with my kids and just doing fun things with my kids and they just keep being like, “Wow, mom!”

J: . Ah! (Laughs)

C: “You look like you’re really having fun!” and I’m like, “I actually am.”

J: Oh yeah.

C: “I actually am.” So…

J: I love that; saying yes to fun and family and fear (kind of), getting out of the comfort zone. Do you feel like there's often a good thing hiding behind fear?

C: I think, for me, there has been of just facing fear head-on. And a lot of people, they look at me because of different things that I've done and they feel like, “Oh, she must just be someone who she's just a super courageous, brave person,” and if they only knew. And that was the thing for me with just my husband being gone and me… I actually Instagrammed through that trip because I wanted people to see that I'm not at all as brave or courageous as people assume that I must be and that there's a lot of things that for maybe normal people that like making phone calls is something that scares me, and talking to people that I don't know well; that scares me. But I have learned that the more that I make myself face those fears and do those things, the more that I feel empowered. And so when I step outside my comfort zone, the more that I do it, then over time, my comfort zone moves and I'm able to then face more fears and go farther because I didn't just stay where it was all safe.

J: Right. Yeah, and you said the word ‘empowering’, and what else came to my mind was the word ‘exhilarating’. Once you're on the other side of fear, it is super empowering and exhilarating, don't you think?

C: Oh my goodness, yes. And you kind of look back and like, “I just did that for real?

J: Yeah, right.

C: “I just did that, wow!” And then it just gives you so much hope and courage and inspiration to be like, “I can keep doing this.”

J: Well, and the best part is your kids think you're so amazing now because you’re ‘miss adventure mom’. (Laughs)

C: Yes. And I think of all the things that I would have missed out on had I not been willing to say yes. All the opportunities and the fun things that I've done with them this year and the things that I just… I would have missed these moments with them. And sometimes there are very simple moments, but for me, that I was so busy with doing work on my computer that I was missing those simple things of like taking a walk in the neighborhood, taking a bike ride down to Sonic, you know, just simple things like that.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: But I was missing out because I was just working so much.

J: Right, right. Well, are there any other things that are exciting you about your life today?

C: I am really excited about my life and I'm so grateful to be really excited about my life. One of the things that I'm super excited about that came out of my year of rest is that I am launching 2 new sites which was something that I thought long and very hard before I committed to and made sure they had team in place that'll pull it off. But I'm really excited because, after 12 plus years of blogging, I am launching a site called Your Blogging Mentor where I'm going to be sharing just tried-and-true tips and tactics and strategies for new and intermediate bloggers to really help them to learn how to make a part-time to a full-time income from blogging. And I'm really passionate about helping other women be successful, especially in blogging, just because that's a big part of my world; and so I'm really excited about that. And then I'm really excited because we are also launching a site called crystalpaine.com; super original, I know.

J: (Laughs)

C: That's going to be my place where I just get to share from my heart, it's faith, fashion, fitness, and family and it's just for the everyday woman. And so I'm really excited to just have a place and a space on the Internet where I can share a little bit deeper and more personal look into my life and things that don't really fit on Money-Saving Moms so I'm very excited about those 2 things.

J: Yeah, those sound great. And all of that came out of the year of rest. I kind of feel like you get so much new creativity after doing something like that.

C: You do; you absolutely do. And one of the big things that I learned from the year of rest is that I need to take time and make space to pour into myself. I feel like, as a creator, so much of the time we get so focused on just producing, producing, producing, producing and we forget that, if we don't also refuel, we're not going to have anything good to produce.

J: Right.

C: And so I’ve really been much more intentional about making space in my week, in my days for that what fuels me and taking time to do that. And that means, for me, getting more sleep, eating well, exercise; quiet really refuels me.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: Reading books, watching movies, hanging out with my family. And instead of before I would look at that almost as like a waste of time, but realizing that, when I take the time to do those things that refuel my creativity, I am so much better as a blogger and as a content creator, but then also as a wife and as a friend and as a mom and all the other hats that I wear because I've taken time to pour into me.

J: So do you have a morning routine? And if you do, what does that look like?

C: So my morning routine is a little bit… it's not like always exactly the same, but typically I used to get up really, really early and waited for my kids and like haven't that quiet. But now that… so I was homeschooling for… we homeschooled for 6 years and then my kids are in classical school this year. And so one of the things that I have changed this year is really getting up and focusing the first hour on my kids, and just giving that first hour to pour into them, and letting myself sleep a little bit later because I feel better when I get more sleep. I’ve found that, if I get up before 6:00 AM, I'm actually grumpier and less productive. (Laughs)

J: Yeah.

C: So I have learned. I am actually getting ready to do a test where I'm going to try going to bed really early and getting up really early and seeing if it's the hours of sleep or the time that I wake up. So I'm not completely sure, but… so right now, I've been getting up about 6:00 or 6:30, waking my kids up and just taking the first hour to just really just be available to my kids. And so, you know, they're old enough, they are 12, 9, and 7, so they're really old enough to get themselves ready and out the door, but I just love to be able to be available to them. Maybe they want to talk, maybe they… the girls want help with their hair, maybe they want me to help them make their lunch or, you know, make a special breakfast for them or just help them with something and for me just to be available to just be with them.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And that's been such a huge change for me; someone who's all into productivity and checking things off my list..

J: Yeah.

C: … to just be present and be available to them. So that's really the first part of my morning usually is focus on that. And then, as soon as they are out the door, then that's when I take time to sit down and read my Bible, just have quiet and then exercise and get ready for the day. And I try to have kind of the first hour for my kids and then the second hour is just really pouring into me. And I try not to plan anything or have anything then so that there's just this hour block of quiet.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And that's when I listen to podcasts and just do things that refuel me so that then I can go into my day and be the best version of myself.

J: Mm, that's great. So it almost sounds like you're a recovering type-a shifting to a type-b, which is kind of my goal as well; I was a type-a and I'm making this shift. You kind of hit those points where you're too tired and you took your year of rest, would you say you're still type-a or kind of maybe in a-, b+? (Laughs)

C: Yeah, that's a great question and I don't know anyone has asked me that since the year of rest. And I feel like I'm in this weird place of like I don't know who I am.

J: (Laughs)

C: Because… because I know what… who I don't want to be and I know what is not healthy for me, but I also know that I am a person who has the tendency like on the Myers-Briggs, on the INTJ…

J: Mm-hmm.

C: And so I'm very into strategy and I'm very kind of detail-oriented and goal-oriented.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: But I'm trying to also temper that with making space for just being more spontaneous and having breathing room in my life. And so I try to, when I plan my schedule for the day, to really make sure that I have blocked in just breathing room that can be for anything because I have found that that's just so much healthier for me.

J: Right. Oh, that's great; great, great, great. Well, let's talk about a few of your favorite things, Crystal. What is a habit that has contributed to your success?

C: So I kind of mentioned it; this was a good segue into this. So writing out my daily to-do list, this is one thing that I had done for years and years and years. I'm a huge fan of Google Calendar and I use that for my team, I use that… my husband I use it for our family planning and for all of our calendar everything, for our kids’ activities. But then I also use it personally and I use a little bit different than most people do and that is that I brain dump everything into Google Calendar, and mostly I do it as all day tasks. So…

J: (Laughs)

C: … right before I got on here, I was remembering, “Oh, I need to email so-and-so and I'm… by Thursday. And I need to remember that we need to buy a birthday gift for somebody for a party next week.”

J: Uh-huh, uh-huh.

C: And all these little things that come into my head, I literally put them as all day tasks and I just put them wherever they can fit on my… like on, you know, the next few days or whenever I need to remember them by.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: So if I need remember it by tomorrow, I'd put it on today or whatever.

J: Right.

C: So I set them up as all day tasks and then I have a lot that are reassuring as well.

J: Uh-huh.

C: And so that before I go to bed at night, I take… I pull out my Google Calendar and I look at all the all-day tasks for the next day and then also what is scheduled, and then I write out a time block to-do list; and so I have very specific times for the next day. I try to allow at least, you know, like 25% wiggle room on all those time blocks because the life happens, but this has been so helpful for me so that when I get up in the morning, I know exactly what I need to get done before I'm going to get out the door and when I am doing it and when it's my work block that I know exactly, “Here is what I'm going to do in what order. Here are the priorities.” And so that's just been very, very helpful for me so that I have a plan, but then I also put things on there where I talked about allowing the breathing room; and so scheduling in the 2 hours. Like, I know this afternoon that I… once I pick my kids up from school, that I have a 2-hour block where there are some things that would be good to get done, but they don't have to get done. And so if other things need to get done during that time or I just need to veg or whatever, my kids need me, that there's that time built-in as well.

J: Okay, perfect. Well, how long is your work block? You mentioned the work block.

C: Yes. I usually work from 10:00 to 2:30 every single day. And then I also have… I do Periscope and Facebook live, those are kind of separate from that, and I'll usually do a little bit of work after my kids go to bed. But for the most part, it happens midday and then I try to shut off the computer. From about 3:00 to 8:00 PM, I try to have my computer completely shut off.

J: Good for you. Okay, I know everyone's listening, they're going to like get inspired by this (Laughs). And what's your favorite easy meal?

C: Okay, so this is… this is a hard question because I… I have changed my diet so much in the last 7 or 8 month. But I think right now, one thing that I'm loving is salmon. I love to just bake it in the oven and then with brown rice and then sweet potato fries or roasted broccoli, I love… and then usual have like a salad with a homemade dressing.

J: Okay, I have to interject a question here. We all dream of getting to the place where we could say our favorite easy meal is salmon with rice and broccoli. So, I mean, how would you have (Laughs)… I'm laughing, but how did you do that in 7 months? Is it the personal train… the nutrition expert that's helping you? Is there accountability? How could you do that in 7 months; make such a shift?

C: Yes. Okay, so that's a really great question. So with my nutritionist, he is… he kind of runs his… he's a holistic nutritionist and he runs it very differently than, I think, a lot of nutritionists; I don't know, I've never worked them, but a lot of them maybe do. So it's all virtual, so every single day by email, I have to check in, tell him my weight, tell him a couple of other things and then also how I'm feeling. And so that right there has been huge accountability because if I'm feeling…

J: Mm-hmm.

C: … tired, he's going to write back and be like, “How much sleep are you getting?”

J: Wow.

C: “Have you been eating?” exactly. You know, so… and then he gives me my menu plans I.. for breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, like everything he plans it out for me based upon kind of my time of the month, based upon what, you know, how…

J: Really.

C: … I'm feeling and everything; and so it's very tailored to me. And so that's been really helpful to just have that accountability and someone kind of telling you, “This is what you need to do.” But then also, I think because of when… he put me on a detox at first which was very hard for me because I'm someone who has always loved… I don't like go eat candy bars or drink soda pop or something, but I love homemade like baked goods…

J: Mm-hmm.

C: … and chocolate and, you know, all the things like that; I'm really into it. And so when he put me on the detox, it was very, very, very hard. And I would say that 5 weeks where I just… I felt like, “This was the dumbest idea ever. Why did I do that?” but…

[Laughter]

C: … I said I was going to stick with it for 2 months because I had been on medication for acne and eczema for years and I really wanted to get off that and I also had been on some supplements for anxiety and I just felt like… like I wasn't healthy.

J: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

C: Like, maybe, you know, I was functioning just fine, I was surviving, but I wasn't thriving. And so I stuck with it for 2 months and I'm so glad that I did because it was kind of like I broke free from my food addictions about the 5 or 6 week mark to where I got to the place where I literally was craving salmon. And I was like, “What is…”

J: Wow! (Laughs)

C: And so now because I just, for the most part… I mean, there are some times when it's like I really don't feel like eating vegetables again.

J: Mm-hmm.

C: But for the most part, I really do look forward to most of my meals and my snacks which are, for the most part, very, very healthy; because I'm not dependent upon the kinds of foods that I used to always just go to for comfort foods. And so, honestly, yes, like salmon and brown rice like, I love that and sweet potato fries or roasted broccoli. Like, learning things that are easy to make, especially like roasted broccoli is so simple to make, but so, so, so yummy. And sweet potato fries, to me, I eat them like they're candies. So maybe… (Laughs)

J: Yes.

C: It’s weird, but it's like when that's when you're not eating a lot of sugar or a lot of things that are just empty carbs, then I find that more and more I crave the really yummy good healthy foods.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone's going to want your nutritionist name, do you think you have permission to share it?

C: I am happy to. If anyone is interested, they can totally email me, I have a kind of information. I don't like to just give out his name because I'm like I kind of like to give all the disclaimers of like, “This is really hard and this is how it works.” (Laughs)

J: Right, right.

C: I don't… because I've had a few people sign up and then they're like, “Oh my goodness! I wish I would have known; this is terrible!” I'm like, “Yeah, it is really, really hard.”

J: (Laughs)

C: So I try to talk people out… yeah, once they email me, my email is moneysavingmom@gmail.com, and you're welcome to email me and I can send you the email with all the information where I try to talk you out of it.

J: (Laughs)

C: Because it’s… I promise for the first 5 or 6 weeks, but I was able to get off all of my medications and just feel really, really, really incredible. And so I just… and it's something that I never would have envisioned for me that I would love eating really healthy foods and really feel amazing almost all the time.

J: Good for you; that's fantastic. Well, moving on through your favorites, so your favorite kitchen gadget. So right now, I am loving my instant pot. And I know it's kind of the rage, but I bought mine on Black Friday, it was on some crazy low sale, and then I let it sit in my cupboard because I was too scared because there were so many buttons and gizmos on it. But I got it out like 2 months ago and I've started actually doing Facebook lives about me using my instant pot, and I am finding that I love it so much and it's really great for being able to cook brown rice or hard-boiled eggs different things that I eat a lot of, I can cook it so much quicker in there, but I also love that I don't have to worry about a boiling pot on the stove because I'm one of those people that I like to just turn it on and then leave it and not have to worry about it; so that's why I'm loving my instant pot.

J: I have one too; they are amazing. And your favorite book.

C: So this is such a hard question to ask somebody who just loves and adores books, but if I think of the last 2 years, the book that probably really profoundly impacted me in a deep, deep level I would say that it was some Shauna Niequist’s book, ‘Present Over Perfect’. And if anyone is really struggling with figuring out like, “How do I pull out of the rat race? How do I learn to just be? How do I stop trying to just chase after my to-do lists and getting more done and just feeling like I'm just chasing my tail all day long?” I love that book and I would highly recommend it. And I just love her style of writing and how it just resonated with me so deeply because I see myself in her, only she's farther along in this journey of learning to let go of perfectionism and people-pleasing and performance and productivity and just learning to really embrace right where you are.

J: Hmm, okay, so the best advice you've ever received.

C: One just word that I love or phrase that I love that I don't even remember who it came from, but it's ‘to do the next right thing’. And when I'm feeling overwhelmed or when I'm feeling like there's so much going on or when I'm feeling like I'm in this situation where I just don't know what to do, ‘to do the next right thing’; to not worry about 3 hours from now or 3 months from now, but just, “What is the next right thing for me to do in my parenting, in my business, in a relationship, just in my everyday life?” just do the next right thing.

J: That really breaks it down so you don't have so much pressure about all the choices ahead. So…

C: Yes.

J: Well, I want to remind our listeners that they can find links to all the resources that we've heard from Crystal plus all of them nuggets of wisdom that Crystal has shared, we typed up a little bit of a summary, you can find that at jenriday.com/62. And now, let's jump into your happiness formula, Crystal. Share 3 to 5 things, or more or less whatever, that really contribute to your happiness.

C: So I think that this was such a great, great thing to think about; I love this. But I wrote down, “I said I'm happiest when I am getting enough sleep plus allowing time to refuel plus using my gifts and talents to bless and inspire others.”

J: Good for you. And I love that combination because you've got some in there of taking care of yourself and then you can have enough energy to use those to bless other's lives; so, perfect. Well, let's end our excellent interview; I've really loved talking with you, Crystal. Share a challenge for listeners and then tell us where we can find you and we'll say goodbye.

C: Alright. Well, you can find me at moneysavingmom.com and also on Facebook, I am Money Saving Mom on Facebook as well as Twitter. And if you want to kind of connect with me more personally, I am The Money Saving Mom on Instagram and that's where I share a lot more about motherhood in real life and just lessons that I'm learning; so it's more personal. And that… to challenge your readers, I would say, based just kind of on everything we've talked about here, I would just really challenge everyone listening to take time and make the space in your life to breathe and to refuel and to take care of you. Because, when you do this, you not only are so much happier and so much healthier, but you're able to bless everyone around you so much more as a result.

J: Excellent. Well, thank you so much for being on the show, Crystal, and we wish you all the best.

C: Thank you so much for the opportunity.

J: I'm really infatuated with Crystal's idea of taking a year of rest. Now, a year might sound crazy or impossible, but it's more of the attitude of pouring into yourself so you can better pour into others and doing more of those things that really bring you joy. We'll be discussing this topic in the Vibrant Happy Women Facebook group and we would love to have you join us, talking about goals related to rest, how you can do more to recharge and really love your life again. Also, Crystal wanted to give us a freebie that she has, it's called ‘5 days to a better morning’. In the episode, Crystal talked about her morning routine so I think you're going to love this freebie. Again, that's ‘5 days to a better morning’ and you can find that on our show notes page at jenriday.com/62; just scroll down to the resources section to find that. Well, I hope you have a fantastic week, in fact, I want you to make it a fantastic week, and I hope to see you in the vibrant happy woman Facebook group sharing how you're going to rest more and take better care of yourself like Crystal did. Take care.

Outro: Tthanks for listening to the Vibrant Happy Women podcast at www.jenriday.com.