27: Coping with Grief After a Miscarriage (with Scarlet Paolicchi)

When she was 24 weeks pregnant, Scarlet Paolicchi received the terrible news that her pregnancy had ended in fetal demise. In this episode Scarlet shares how writing and connection with friends helped her through the grieving process.

Scarlet Paolicchi is a Nashville mom blogger. She went to Tulane University and married her college sweetheart. They have two children together and include a German shepherd, a cat, a chinchilla, and a frog as part of the their family. Scarlet loves family time, good food, and travel.

Nuggets of Wisdom from Scarlet:

“Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.”

“Basically, I was able to get through it(miscarriage) by taking it one day at a time and really getting myself the time I needed to feel my grief, and at the same time, just trying to keep that to a limited time so it did not overcome me and overcome my family time, to,o because I have kids that I wanted to be there for.”

“The biggest struggle was just trying to have my grief time but also make sure that I put it away.”

“You find that emotion is not something that you can just reason away. You have to deal with it because emotion is not logical.”

“The best way for me to deal with it at that time was writing. That is always helpful for me personally. Just to write about my feelings. That helps get them out.”

“I know a lot of people wrote me and told me about things that happened to them. I had no idea that they had miscarried, and now it helped me feel like I wasn't alone. Because there is always an element I think of when something bad happens to you, where you think, ‘Why is this happening to me? What did I do?' So, it helps to connect and know, ‘I am not alone with this, it is not just me.' ”

“What helped me is giving myself permission to have my grief and to be sad and to wallow it in a little bit.”

“Sometimes you lose the bigger picture of what is actually important to you because you are so attached to the list. So, not being so attached to the list that it stresses you out.”

Some of Scarlet‘s Favorite Things:

Personal habit: “Really prioritizing and making sure that I get the most stressful items out of the way so I can relax the rest of the day.”

Easy meal: “Chicken Marsala with rice and spinach. It is easy, and it tastes good and I love it.”

Possession: “Garlic press. It is just a basic tool but I use it all the time with so many recipes.”

Scarlet's Favorite Book: You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay

Best advice received: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Scarlet's Happiness Formula:

“Listening to my heart. Spending time with my family. And being grateful for what I have.”

A Challenge from Scarlet:

“I challenge everyone to listen to their heart because I find it leads you in the right direction in so many ways… Your heart and your gut, they lead you in the right direction if you let yourself listen to them.”

Resources

Family Focus Blog

You Can Heal Your Life Book by Louise Hay

New Year's Eve Art Projects Blog Post

Chicken Marsala Recipe

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